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Kat, you were wondering if I needed to rant. Well, here it is. My mother is driving me nuts. She is going crazy about having a professional do my hair, and she know just how to do it, too. While thats nice enough the way she dreams of it being is all big and ostentatious and complicated. The same goes for how she wants to do my make up. Though I love my mother dearly she can't seem to see that the daughter she has is not the daughter she dreamed of having. You know the one who will sit quietly and let her play Prom Night Barbie. And the dress She wants me to wear is too poofy. You know me, I don't usually do dresses at all, and I certainly don't do poofy ones. But that I can't do anything about seeing as I'm out of both time and money to buy one. My grades are driving me nuts. I don't see Eye to eye with my parents all the time, but I have to admit they are tricky. I don't know what they've don't to me but all the sudden, now that they've stopped caring about my grades I've started. And math isn't helping me any. I'm serious I have about 15 missing assignments, and this chapter is ******** retarded. Dividing polynomials. That is just about the most retarded thing I've ever seen done with math. Not to mention the most complicated and pointless. My boy is driving me nuts. He's not even technically not even my boy either, which just makes the matter worse because I can't do anything to fix it. He will talk to me one minute then will ignore my very presence the next. Seriously, what is up with that? I've decided a long time age that boys are stupid, and brainless purvey creatures that think only with they're balls, but for some reason I can't bring myself to give up the hope that someday I'll find a descent one who isn't gay or already taken. Oi vey! Why does every thing have to be so complicated?

Posted by: filia maris Wed Apr 16, 2008 @ 05:29am

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pseudonym5
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Commented on: Wed Apr 16, 2008 @ 03:18pm


	kayleigh, kayleigh, kayleigh. welcome to my world. pizza night is tuesday. grades will suck, boys will drive you crazy, and i'm sorry but right now you're a whee bit on the amusing side. i stepped into this phase late eigth grade year, and to see someone new starting out it makes me want to hug you, pat you on the head, and say 'there there, it only gets worse'. more advice to come trust me, but we're heading to school now, where i will smile at you and say very cynical, but caring things in my mind.

Commented on: Thu Apr 17, 2008 @ 05:33am


	Thanks for the sympathy. You're so kind.

filia maris
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Thu Apr 17, 2008 @ 06:34am


	REALLY REALLY LONG SWEARWORD WAS HERE. ******** page stretching. I wanted to make the longest swearword ever but it stretched the page. Anyways here is this. I found it last night and decided it might cheer you up. Elder swear, he he he.

Commented on: Fri Apr 18, 2008 @ 03:10am


	you realize most of your advice was criticism and self acknowlegments/assurances? plus i think once you state IM NOT GAY more than once in one sitting, its a little overkill. enough to make us wonder. mother- its her oldest's first prom., she's gonna relapse back to when she was in high school, gonna feel all young and excited, then push things upon you the way she'd have them done. there is nothing you can do about this. i am sorry to say it, but its better to get it ver now, so that next year, when you're around your own classmates, it won't be as painful. By then, she'll have granted you more freedom. grades-you're asking two of the wrong people. the perfectionist, and the slacker. find a comfortable medium. grades are important. So go in for help if you need it, outside of class. boy- now you're asking the somewhat wrong person. Your boy is nice. he's intellectual, he's funny, he can listen. but he is overly critical, stereotypical, and all-around mean to anyone who is less 'achieved' than he. in short, i don't like him. (who am i to say this after last year, but...) If you want more attention, you need to find confidence. today it seemed you barely had the nerve to go over saturday's plans! i love you but grow a backbone! you are funny gorgeous, and probably much better at playing the flute than i will ever be. you don't have to make the same perverse jokes that all the guys do either. i've noticed you got somethin about that. that's my area of expertise missy. Pat is a critic, be a critic. if he's being judgemental, be judgemental. if he's being mean because someone's not as smart as he is...beat him. get one his side though. be yourself. show you and him have some kind of connection. "follow you heart" stare But if you become a mouse and don't say a word, no wonder he's getting bored!

pseudonym5
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filia maris
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Commented on: Thu Apr 24, 2008 @ 07:17pm


	I tried yesterday to be more assertive but every time I went to gi talk to him he'd find some excuse to leave two minutes later!

Commented on: Fri Apr 25, 2008 @ 03:56am


	mehh. so he doesn't like you. its not the end of the world as we know it (and i feel fine). same thing with kenny, probably the same thing with the next ten guys in your life hun. unless you get ver your crush problem, grow a backbone, and get it through your head that you don't need any dude to be happy! (except, of course, me xp )

pseudonym5
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Sat Apr 26, 2008 @ 10:01am


	She may not need people to be happy, but I seriously do. Without people I start to think to much, and then I fall into a deep depression. So people distract me and keep me occupied. Also I pity people who have crushes. I still have one on Sarah. 4 f**king years. damn it.

Commented on: Sun Apr 27, 2008 @ 07:03am


	you, and the rest of the herd...

pseudonym5
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Tue Apr 29, 2008 @ 01:35am


	I know. But even if she had wanted to, I wouldn't have dated her. I prefer not to lose friends because everything got all awkward. So I just never have any close relationships. Oh well.

Commented on: Tue Apr 29, 2008 @ 06:12am


	im leaving in a month and don't know what to think of my close relationships. i severed one, and resurrected an old one. meanwhile my favorite is killing me day by day.

pseudonym5
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Tue Apr 29, 2008 @ 08:01am


	"Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all." ****** that. The ****** who said that was smoking something. I have a low tolerance for pain, especially emotional pain. I just don't handle it well.

Commented on: Fri May 02, 2008 @ 02:35pm


	Amen.

filia maris
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Fri May 02, 2008 @ 03:07pm


	YAY! Chaarrrrliiiiiieeeeeeee!

Commented on: Sun May 04, 2008 @ 09:29pm


	i just don't feel too passionately for any relationships. if one's gone sour, i don't get really sad or feel painfully emotional, i just think. and think. and think about the probem. ways it can get worse, ways i should have seen it coming, or ways i can fix it. other than that i get frustrated for not really feeling anything.

pseudonym5
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Kaiser Lemach
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Commented on: Sun May 04, 2008 @ 10:38pm


	I feel everything to deeply. And I have few ways of actually expressing how I feel. My personality type though. I take things as a personal affront, a severe and intentional insult.

Commented on: Sun May 04, 2008 @ 11:29pm


	I feel it, but don't always let show how much it really hurts. But, damn, it does hurt. And it won't ******** go away! Why wont my heart stop aching?

filia maris
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pseudonym5
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Commented on: Mon May 05, 2008 @ 12:20am


	i just get frustrated because i think i should be feeling something in certain situations, and i don't. seriously. sometimes i feel drone-ish and thats about it.

Commented on: Mon May 05, 2008 @ 03:36am


	Take some of my emotion, it has led me only to trouble. You can have some of my rage, I have plenty to spare.

Kaiser Lemach
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