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Kodoku na Oujo no Nikki (The Diary of a Lonely Princess)
This little, worn diary, holds my deepest thoughts and fears.
Thursday, May 1 - I Just Came to Say "Goodbye Love..."
Exactly a month since I last wrote in this. I'm getting better ((slightly XP)). On my defense it's been a hectic month.
Let's start with the anime convention. It. Was. AWESOME! An anime convention is the place where I truely belong. As I've reported before, I went as Ino (from Naruto) and I had my picture taken a lot. Hoshi didn't cosplay. I'll get her next year. And if you would like to know, my friends and I are putting on a group cosplay for Fullmetal Alchemist. I'm going to go as Edward Elric X3! Sweet, right?
Anyway... the convention was great. Now I'm poor, but I expected as much.
No on to more serious matters. Me and Saiyajin broke up. We broke up around the beginning of the month and to be honest... I saw it coming. We had been spending less time with each other than we used to and we weren't as intimate. But as sad as I was when we first broke up, I think I'm okay now. But "thinking" can lead to the wrong answer sometimes.
We decided to stay friends... though I'm not sure how that will work out. I've never been able to stay good friends with my ex's. Maybe it's for the better. I mean, we are going to different colleges. We'll never see each other, long distance relationships can only last so long when all you have is e-mail and the phone. That's not how relationships should be held up. It's too hard. So I'm hoping we'll still be happy, even though we're not a couple anymore.
Now that I've told you that, I can tell you what happened afterwards. My friend had heard about Saiyajin and my break-up, so she gets this idea for me to meet this one guy that she knew ((though I'm not sure how she meet him)) and to go out on a date with him. I was a little hesitant at first, because, let's face it, I wasn't over Saiyajin at the time. But I agree nonetheless. We try to go out on several dates, but each time he cancels on me for some reason. The last time, he didn't even call to say that we we're going. Supposedly his parents took his phone away from him. Yeah. Right.
Well, then I text him, telling him that since he stood me up, I'm making other plans. Every since that night I haven't spoken to him. Well... I did once to tell him that I was done trying to go out with him. And for an entire week after I told him that, he was constantly trying to call me and reach me.
To be honest... it felt like he was stalking me. He would say creepy things like, "I just want to kill myself for being such an idiot" or "Would you please go out with me just once... before I kill myself." I was SOOOO freaked out. I don't even think that covers it completely. I told my friend ((who had tried to set us up)) that I wasn't going to talk to him anymore and that he should stop talking to me too.
Well, it worked. Because he hasn't contacted me since. I didn't tell Saiyajin about the whole mess. I knew it would make him angry. Since I had agreed to date this guy less than a month after him. I was never serious about the guy though. We weren't even friend-level. I was just hoping to get my mind off of Saiyajin.
Well it worked. And yet... it didn't.
The whole week that he was phone-stalking me, I couldn't help be long for the normal relationship I had with Saiyajin. I really want to talk to him about the whole mess, but I don't want him to get angry. Though he doesn't have any right. Afterall... I'm not his girlfriend anymore.
... Then why do I sometimes wish I was?





 
 
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