Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I have discovered that I have RSD, Reflex sympathetic distrify, I think thats how you spell it. It most terms it's a chromic pain, when I mean chromic pain I MEAN CHRONIC. It used to be just in my right foot but today that proved me wrong. Now I can't even walk on my feet or use my crutches. I haven't walked on my own since the beginning of Sep, 2007. It's not like a stabbing pain, but as I sit down it's like a dull pain. I can still feel it pretty strongly and when I try to stand on my feet it spikes from like 40 to 100 (10-100 scale). I cry, I want to scream, I usually bite my finger so that I don't scream. My pain in my right foot is no longer on the bottom and along the arch, but it, it's like it spread upwards to my ankle into my leg. My foot is discolured, I know that if it turns purple ( like it did that one time..) then I need to get ice elevate it do whatever I can. To be completely honest I have no Idea what to do anymore. It dosen't get better and with the Physcial therepy it just seems to get worse. I didn't ask for this I don't even want this I'd do anything in the world to make this go away.
The pain just dosen't affect me physcially, but mentally too. When I'm in extreme pain, I go into this "state" I don't know how to describe it but I...I just become messed up...
Another thing to add is that I'm having back pains and I told my doctor about it since he says to tell him if I start having it. From what I understand if I start to have back pain I could become paralized. Dear gods please I don't need that.
I also wonder if this is the gods ways of getting back at me or if this is to teach me a lesson, I don't know if I'm supposed to become a better person. I find myself a little bitter...Ice queen more like it. If anyone can help me, give me some advice of where to go for help with my RSD, PLZ LET ME KNOW!!!