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So...

I'm a struggling artist. Im sitting here staring at the canvas...trying to figure out what I can make it...I know I can make it whatever I want, but it's just a matter of deciding what I want it to be...

My paints consist of acting, singing, playing, building, helping, fighting...

My life could be molded into an actor...but it would be so hard on me...the idea of love scenes just kinda gets to me...I kissed a girl once while in a relationship, and it near killed me. I know it's acting...but still.

I could be a singer...but singers burn out the quickest...it would be almost total freedom with what I sing and whatnot...but only what's in demand will sell...and what's that? Sex...

I could play...I LOVE my trumpet...I'm by no means a professional...but I love it. But then we get back into the world of musicians., which I discussed above...

I could build...at an early age, I wanted to be an architect...I built wonderful houses out of legos...I was the neighborhood "base builder," meaning if someone wanted a little hideout for them and their friends, I designed and built it with them. But building for kids who are friends and building skyscrappers are totaly different...guess I'm easily intimidated...

I could help...the idea of just joining anywhere as a simple grunt has been playing in my head. This would no doubt mean a factory job...and if I were to get the right onw, I'd get paid GREATLY, and prolly get good insurance and possibly have a good atmo....but then we get down to Luke being pretty weak...

I could fight...Police officer, army, navy, air force...or if I REALLY wanted to kill myself getting fit, Marine...if what I was making a living doing involved me getting in shape, I doubt that would be a problem...I've seen many police men in worse shape than me. As far as armed service...I've got what's called "Muscular Distonia" which means I'm given to random muscle spasms of my right hand. Since I'm right handed, this could be a problem if I'm holding a gun. It hasn't happened in awhile...but there's no way to know if it will happen again...and since it's in my med records...I just dunno...

No matter what I decide to do...I know I'll do it to the best of my ability...only problem is deciding...

I guess what I'm waiting for is something to just drop into my lap and say "Hey, this is what you need to do." I was almost submitted to a talent agency...but evidently I'm just not pretty enough.

In the mean time...I guess I'm stuck here staring at this Canvas called my Life...