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Lookit what I found!!!! whee dramallama I wrote this for Mr.Kolbet (English teacher) at the beginning of the year. I love this story!!!! Enjoy! Or, if you don't like it.... then you're a poopy face. eek Oh, diss. rolleyes (I like the last line because it relates directly to me. smile )





ALICE IN WONDERLAND: As told by The Cheshire Cat

It was a fine afternoon in the Wonderwoods. Not too hot, not too cold, not too green. Perfect banana weather. Anyway, I was minding my own business when this thing comes down the path. This thing I saw had a large, fluffy, yellow hat on, a strange garment, and black hooves that squeaked when it walked. Naturally I appeared to this beast and asked, “Why the hat?”
The thing seemed startled. Like a monerath that has lost its way back to the nest. “Who...why, you're a cat!”it exclaimed.
The nerve! “Cheshire,” I told it.
“What?” Apparently it was stupid.
“A Cheshire Cat. The Cheshire Cat.”
“What was that you said about a hat, Mr.Cat?”
“Your hat. I do not understand that point of wearing so ugly a hat in this perfect weather. You should be ashamed.”
“This is my hair! And it is not polite to say such impolite things to a person.”
“You are supposed to be a person?”
“Yes. I'm Alice, and I'm looking for The White Rabbit.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to find him.”
“Why?”
“Because I want to know where he is going!”The Alice seemed upset with me.
“Naturally.”At that moment I looked across the clearing and saw so lovely a tree that I decided to fly over. I did, and the Alice looked amazed. What's so amazing about flying?
“How did you do that?”
“Do what?”
“You just flew!”
I thought for a moment or two. “Do you like strawberries?”
“Yes, but-”
“I love strawberries. They laugh when you tickle them.”
“What?”
Now this Alice was annoying me slightly, and I am not one to be easily annoyed. “Don't strawberries laugh where you come from?”
“No.”
“Then what good are they?”
“Where I come from, we eat strawberries.”
I gasped. “You monster!” I changed trees again.
“Will you please stop that!”
“Stop what?”
“That flying from tree to tree! It's making me very dizzy.”
“So sorry. Oh, by the way,” I said, pointing. “He went that way.”
“Who?”
“No, he did. Who went this way.”
“The White Rabbit went this way?”
“No, he did.”
“Who?”
“That way.”
“This is so puzzling. I don't know who went which way!”
“Third base!”
Alice looked at me wonderingly. It didn't seem to know what words to say. The poor thing, I thought. It doesn't know where it is or where it is going. The Alice spoke finally, “You're mad, aren't you?”
This was the most simple question anyone ever asked, in my opinion. So, I decided to give the Alice the most simple answer to go with her simple question, “My dear, we all go a little mad sometimes.”