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I Found My Cake!!!!!!
So, you know how there's a type of cake that everyone loves but just cant get enough of? Well, the Double Fudge Chocolate Chocolate cake does it for me. But, I've found something else that drives meh crazy.
I guess I’ve been confused because I've always been protective of myself. Of mainly my body and my heart. I've faced betrayal, harassment, and abandonment. So shouldn’t I be allowed to distance myself? I’ve always thought the answer to that was a simple yes, so I denied the feelings that were growing for Cephus. I wanted to turn of the questions, HIS questions, his voice, and turn off all the sounds and vibrations. But, there was something in the air, a whisper of a promise in the gesture of his words (with thoughts touching me like butterfly wings) and without the use of a net….
“You caught me.”
My feelings burst through the cage that bound them, filling me with warmth and I felt that I could deny them no longer. There was something about him, something so different and unique that I really didn’t know just what it was, except that it felt as if he was offering something. Maybe this something was so soft and gentle so delicate and fragile that it had the potential to be crushed so easily.
I tried hard to keep my distance from him because I couldn’t stand knowing that if I allowed something to form, if I allowed myself to feel and acknowledge what was there, it could all disappear one day, leaving nothing behind to show its existence. But the harder I tried, the more I failed, and the more I failed the more frightened I’d become. And then, I really didn’t understand why, except maybe I did, and it all boiled down to one word: L.O.V.E
Yep. That boy hopped his little bunny tail into my life. O.O He invaded my mind, stole my heart, and aroused my senses all in a VERY short time. I mean, I thought it was just admiration/infatuation. But, his hypnotic voice took different effect son me. Was it desire? Were my feeling characterized by urgency, intensity, sexual tension? Hmm…no…it was more of a connection. I’ve decided that that’s why I love him, because I have a connection with him that I’ve never had with anyone. And its not just based on sexuality, or admiration. Those two qualities are just a bonus. And man do I get tempted. biggrin -sweat-
I wasn’t blind. Just couldn’t see what others could; that I was head over bunny ears in love with HIM! It’s not contagious, so you can't catch it if I sneeze. There's just a virus from an invisible bug that gets you when your not on your guard and it makes you focus on a particular someone and suddenly nothing matters but that compelling attraction. It leaves you vulnerable and scared, and confused, and happy, and because love is what you can still betray. It lets you trust and fear.
And he is so funny, his wacky personality holds different effects on me as well. Its dazzling, beautiful, and beams with light and compassion. He is kind, and annoying (not really) when he ask to many questions but he always manages to grab just enough information out of me. He is bright and his voice is filled with fire. Now, there are always sweet thought of him in my mind…
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