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Yea...this has been a fully traumatic evening.

It started yesterday. All day my girlfriend and I had been chatting, and out of nowhere, she randomly admitted to me how lonely, sad, and needy she felt. She thought it was a moment, but it didn't pass. Turned out she just truly missed me, and was, for once, actually admitting it.

It'd be good to note at this point that she is an Aquarius, and is very emotionally introverted.

From there, we played some WoW together, because that's really the only way we have to be "physically" close and do something with our more boring summer lives, and the fact that we cannot drive to see each other despite only being 3 hours apart. We didn't get everything done that we wanted to (we were doing daily quests together), so we planned to do them that evening after my Japanese class.

I couldn't stop thinking about her throughout my entire three to four class. Little things kept making my mind wander now and then, and she'd come up. I was so excited to spend time with her, that I (stupidly) sped home, on all backroads, not really giving a rat's tail about the speed limits and whatnot. It wasn't TOO bad speeding, but it was speeding.

I got home, and IMed her immediately as I promised I would. No response for ten minutes. I assumed she was busy talking to Vijay, her best guyfriend, since he was online. When she finally IMed me, she talked about how annoyed she was at our guild master on that server, for taking some suggestions we made completely nonchalantly. e wasn't serious about it at all.

She wasn't on WoW as I logged on while reading the chat she sent me so show his ignorance. I began cleaning up the guild as I'd said I would to guildies earlier that day. I got a random invite to Karazhan (a 10 man raid), from a friend, saying that they wanted me to heal, just to try Prince one more time, before giving up. I pointed out that A) I'd be leaving as soon as my g/f was ready to do what we planned, and B), I didn't even have the gear for one boss, as my healing skill was low. She said it was cool, to come anyway, they just didn't want to give up, and didn't mind wiping one or two more times. I agreed on the condition that when I wanted to leave I could, without getting backlash (like bad rep or slander from them b/c I left).

I'm doing this to waste time while waiting for her to mention questing, or say she's ready, as I assume she's still talking to Vijay or whatnot. She logs onto the game, and in IMs asks me what I'm doing in Karazhan. I say, just trying Prince, but I don't really know. Only him, and if I die, I'm gone. I foolishly forget to mention that I'm waiting for her. Looking back, that would have probably saved me some grief.

She g quits as she had told me she was going to, but then logs off the game. In AIM, I'm still talking to her, but she randomly says "Hey I'm in a bad mood ttyl" and logs. Very uncharacteristic of her.

I give her ten minutes, call her, realizing she thinks I ditched her for a raid group. I manage to say "Are you gonna be ok?" as a check JUST IN CASE it wasn't me that upset her, and she says "yea, fine' and hangs up the phone on me.

I later send her an IM trying to clear up what happened, telling her that the group did not expect me to stay, let alone survive in the first place, and I was just wasting time and dawdling with them while I waited for her word to hearth to the major city and get going with dailies with her. I wasnt expecting an epic speech, mind you. Just something to show she was ready to quest, and not busy with other things.

It turns out that, in her eyes, I ditched her for pixels. Bailed on our plans. The plans I thought about all class, and sped home for, and waited for all evening.

I couldn't sleep after our fight, even though she accepted my apology, so she said- mostly b/c she said she wanted to be away from me. A drastic change from missing me if I do say so myself. I got back online at around 2 AM, to see that her away message said that more bad s**t had been added to the pile, and she was going to sleep over at Karus' house before she loses her mind.

Karus is like my rival. Even though she swears up and down she's not attracted to him, I really doubt it, although it could just be my lack of self worth talking. Point is...this means now he, who DOES like her, has heard bad things about me, most likely. No one ever seems to hear the good, because she's private when happy. But when she's mad, she rants. Not to EVERYONE, but to close friends. And unfortunately for me, most of them have crushes on her or are exes who still love her. So it's a lose lose situation.

I look like a pixel-addicted ogre. I feel like a jerk, but feel like maybe she shouldn't have over-reacted, or should have trusted my word more than that. After all, we've been good friends for almost three years, best friends for one or two, and dating for about six months, with little to no speed bumps. So for her to just...say I was full of crap...

I really, truly, am at a loss for what to do or say, or even think. Half of me thinks I'm a douchebag for screwing up. Half of me thinks I deserve more trust and that she over-reacted and then made my work equivalent to mud, unfairly so. Half of me wants to cal her tonight at some point if she hasn't called, and half just wants to say screw it, and let her call when she wants me around again.

As if we don't have enough against us....