Ok, finally! After about....well over a month of mental preparation, I'm finally posting my Katua (used to be) fanfic (now it's it's own independent story staring rpcs) for the reading pleasure of the....nine people who viewed my introductory entry. Well, without further ado, here it is! Enjoy!
Katua's Kingdom
Chapter 1: Stranger
Life has always had it's mysteries. Things you just didn't know about and you'd do so much just to find the answers to them. After all, that's how so many things came to existance, boats, planes, space travel, and even religion. I of course have my own mysteries to solve. My name is Katua Dragonhart. I am of the unique race of Mamonos, human-like beings with extrordinary power. As for my mysteries, you wouldn't quite understand them. For one thing, I've always had a scar going down my left eye. According to my parents, it's been there since I was born. Another thing wierd is my eyes. For some reason, I'm the only one in my entire family with red eyes! I just don't get it! My brother Zoa says it's because I'm more demon than Mamono but I say screw what he has to say! Still, I love my bro, we've been through so much together. Anyway, my biggest mystery is this image in my head. Ever since I could have dreams and remember them, I've been having this same drea-no! More like a nightma-NO! Not even a nightmare! It's more like....a vision. A vision of these two people clashing blades and it always ends the same. The man defeats his enemy and decapitates him. It's been haunting me for so long. Anyway, my life is a simple one. I live with my parents and brother. We live in a simple house on the Crimea continent in a province called Ordon. We live a peaceful life. My dad worked for the malitia but retired and now he works a new job. He taught Zoa and I how to use many kinds of weaponry and we still train. But sadly....that peace was not to last....
It all happened on a perfect day. The sun was shimmering with a few clouds to keep the ground cool. Zoa and I were training in the woods while our parents were doing who knows what. Today was supposed to be a special day. Dad was going to send us on a sort of adventure to castle town, 30 miles away, to drop off a delivery. We were so excited that we got to venture out into the world on our own, even if only for a day or two. But that was all ruined by a single man. A tall man wearing a hooded cloak carrying a gigantic broadsword with a spiked blade walked to our house and knocked on the door. Father opened it and looked questionably at the man. Being the good-natured man he was, Father kindly said, "Hello sir, what brings you here?"
The stranger didn't even blink as he replied, "I'm looking for someone."
Father acted like nothing was wrong. But he knew something was indeed wrong. "Well, maybe we saw him. What does this person look like."
The stranger then said in that scratchy, harch voice, "Where is he?"
Father became steadily aware of the danger. His tone became more serious, "I don't know who you are talking about."
"Don't try to trick me you fool. Where is he?"
Father then knew everything. He had to make a move, "Saya! Get back!" Father then slammed the door and ran into the other room. The stranger busted the door and barged in. Father jumped back holding his spear. The stranger laughed hysterically and grinned through his hood. "How amusing! You really think you can hide him from me?"
Father glared at the stranger and handed mother hew bow and arrows. Mother then shouted, "You can't have him! We'll protect him with our lives!"
The stranger continued to laugh, "With your lives? Well then..." He raised his sword up high. "Let's see how much your...worthless lives compare to this!"
Zoa and I made our way back home, ready to leave for Castletown. On our way back, we saw smoke coming from where our house was. We hurried there and saw the house in shambles. Wood burning, ground frozen, and furniture shredded. I walked into the ruined house and tripped. I fell onto my hands and felt something...liquid. But...it was thick...and warm. I slowly got up, looked at my hands and my eyes midened in shock at what stained my hands....blood. I put my arms down and Zoa and I looked what remained of our parents after a stranger came to our door.
Chapter End
Now for my thoughts! This rewrite was much longer than the original version. This version had some more info as to the setting and other events. The event with the stranger was generally the same but now with more dialogue and I made the parents seem much less feeble. In the original, they didn't have any weapons and didn't put up any fight. In this one, I gave them personality, weapons, and overall made them put up a fight that left the home in ruin. Overall, I have mixed feelings on this rewrite. The first chapter was the hardest to do before and it was the hardest to do now. I'm proud of this rewrite but I'm going to try and make future chapters completely better in my opinion than the originals. Especially since the later originals are still in my head for reference. Hope you enjoyed!
PLZ rate and comment! I'd like to know who reads this and I'd really like your opinions! Thnx for reading! ^^
 The Fabulous M a r x · Thu Jun 19, 2008 @ 06:51am · 0 Comments |
