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I once travelled in time, you know? I invented a machine for that, using a complicated set of theories and formulas that could’ve made humanity to take a huge leap in almost every science field. Let me tell you about it.
I travelled back to the past and found myself as a kid. I told him, or told me: "Dare! Tell the girl you like that you fancy her and use your right fist to give that bully a hard punch in the jaw, then he'll leave you alone forever."

The kid, I mean, I, did exactly what the older me said.
I told the girl what I felt and she became my first girlfriend, my first kiss, even my first time.
I hit the bully in the jaw, a well placed and hard punch, and from that day on everybody respected me, and weaker kids even came to me for protection from other bullies. I became some kind of hero.

With time, instead of the insecure and weak teenager I used to originally be, I became a sure of myself and cool boy who was incredibly popular. From party to party, girl to girl, adventure to adventure, my life was passing just too fast, too nice, and too great.
If I wouldn't been myself, I'd have felt envy of such a great boy!

However, that meant that instead of science, my interest was on how to please the ladies and keep on being cool, as you might understand, and in the end I never invented the time machine. That's some bad thing because two days after my travel in time, they found a big asteroid coming this way, directly to planet Earth. Would have they known of it, say, 10 years ago, there could have been time to save us all. But they found it too late and now... well... the end is right here.

Humankind is one genius short from get salved and improved beyond everybody’s imagination… But what a cool guy I made!