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Okay so as usual I check through my forums in Gaia, and then I go to myspace.com and look through the mail, and bulletins and how people are doing. Now, my best friend of 13+ years, Carla, put up a rather interesting blog. She keeps talking about how everyone's neglecting her and how she's almost ready to destroy herself. She hasn't mentioned any names, but she was talking about someone whom she hadn't spoken to in a long time and how afterwards they were acting like an a*****e. Bottom line is, I fear for her life.

I love Carla like a sister, and it would devastate me if I were to lose her. Yeah we had a fall out in the eight grade, but we had recently reconnected and now we talk often. I've even gotten her a job at Disneyland late last year. She is my intimate mentor when I need advice or help with my boyfriend, my confidante, and my "lesbian" soul mate ((keep in mind, we're both straight. This is just an inside joke)). Her birthday is coming up and she isn't even sure if she's going to make it that far. She's told me of plans to rent a hotel room with her best friend and whoever she's dating. Which is another thing that's interesting. This "best friend" she's talking about isn't me. I know who it is but I won't mention the name. Does this mean that I'm not her best friend anymore? I tell everyone that she's my best friend, but I don't know if she does the same for me. Yeah she says I act bossy and pushy and I know that I do, but that is all in fun and I never really get serious unless I really have to. Whenever she's feeling down or she's just bored, I'm always there. So how can she say that no one cares about her? At the moment I'm trying to call her, but I don't know if she's working, out with a friend or just avoiding me. She knows that whenever she does something like this and I find out about it, I confront her about it and try to talk to her and sort out her problems. Again like I said earlier, I love her like a sister and I don't want to lose her. I'll keep trying to contact her and keep this journal updated.