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I've been restless these past couple of weeks. I honestly don't know why, but I can't any sleep at all. I mean, I've even gone a couple days straight without it. I think mostly it's been my thoughts keeping me up. That never gets boring. I can't even write how I feel anymore.
I've been thinking about my current situations, So I'm sitting here trying to figure out if these overly grown idiots are exhausted fro m all the yelling and bickering and from all the fighting, because I am. I'm tired of knowing there will always be tension in the house because no one has the balls, the guts, the time, or the care to confront or solve the problem(s). When stuff like this happens I tend to say how I really feel, and when it comes to the people I live with, pleasant things come VERY rarely.
Turns out, my family is disappointed in me. (Surprise surprise!) I've always managed to keep them happy with my academic record, but that hasn't been doing the trick for the past two years. On top of that, my grades slipped this past school year. Honestly, I could care less. I've always lived up to their expectations. I got tired of it.
My older brother is scaring me. He and this whole gang thing is pissing me off. Now, the few words passed between us aren't very loving. And it's not the typical 'Sibling Feud.' I mean, he's been so angry lately. Hasn't been his usual self for a while, now. Am I the only one who notices? Or maybe the only one who cares? Please tell me, because I don't see him that much anymore, and I hope that each time I do, it wont be the last.
I'm so proud of my little sister. I've been working with her a lot lately, with her learning disabilities. She's improving so much. I really cherish all the time I spend with her. She's been going places on her own, too. ^_^ I'm really happy to see that she's not being deprived of regular activities because she's deaf. <3
Something new: I have a daughter, now. Scratch that. I have a teenage daughter who also happens to be my pimp.(And I didn't even have to go through labor. lol) Weird, I know but hey, I like weird. She's a really nice person; opinionated, smart, funny, and VERY talented with her hands. Ok, that seems perverted. Anyway, I like her and I'm jealous because she's getting my dream bedroom. >.< I always wanted a room with a window seat thingy. Oh, well. <3
Speaking of new daughter, I've been worried about her father lately. It may be me, but things have been tense lately. Seems that way, but I've been tense a lot so it's is possible that it could just be me. Still, he hasn't been getting much rest lately and he seems depressed. I don't know how to talk to him about it because I'm used to people coming to me when somethings bothering them. Also, I feel guilty. I haven't been spending much time with him, either. And I know he looks forward to our phone time but even that's been altered. <3
Ok, I'm craving some EXTREME doses of sugar right now, which doesn't make the situation better. I'm grounded (forgot to mention that.) so I can't leave the apartment. But I'm serving my time at my Godmother's house, so there's a bit more freedom for me. ^.^ Anyway, I think I'll go visit Matt, Brian, ChuBB and everyone else next week. I haven't seen them in a bit and maybe I'll make them buy me a King-sized Twix. O_O I have to mail a couple of people some things. That'll be interesting, I bet.
So after all this typing...I'm still not tired. How aggravating.
-gasp-
Maybe I'm a vampire?!
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