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Limerence. Ever hear of it? Not many people have; in fact, it's a fairly new word to describe a very old feeling. Even those who have felt limerent before may have never heard of it. They most likely have mistaken it with love. Who knows, maybe limerence is the real feeling of "love". I wouldn't know, I haven't exactly gotten far with anyone I've felt limerent towards.
My current story with limerence is as follows. There is a person, (I shall call them 'person' in order to keep disclosure) who I suppose I could say is my 'limerent object'. I dislike that term, by the way. Person is not my limerent object, Person is the one I want to get close to, be near, have fun with, spend my time with. Not an object. But anyway, back to the situation.
We were close, myself and Person. We met just last year, and it only took us several weeks to become good friends. It was then that I began to notice there was something there. As soon as I realized that, things went wrong for the first time. There were outside problems, and I suppose that Person took them out on me, and eventually decided to cut me out of their life. I didn't take it well.
After awhile, many mutual friends, and a few convincing words, all was forgiven. Still awkward, but forgiving. Eventually things became as they were before, and better. At a point, Person did say that they would go out with me, and I decided that it was time to let Person know how I feel.
So I did. Unfortunately, it was at an awful time. For one, it was the evening after a sort of bad day, and there was a bit of tension. Another down side was that Person thought I was not serious, and only saying that because of a bet. So naturally, Person refused.
Not only did Person refuse, but we got into another tiff like the first, only much worse. It's been going on for about three months now, although we haven't seen each other in one, because of summer break. Person is a very stubborn individual, and despite others' logic, I am still not forgiven. I do not know why this is still going on, and I really don't think I will.
Anyway, so a mutual friend is having a pool party in...eventually. Person will be there. I am terrified, because I've been able to stay fairly good, just I think I might just break down as soon as I arrive.
It's extremely complicated, and perhaps you have gotten a better idea of what I'm going through by reading the article on it. I just hope I'll be alright, though.
~Edit - The pool party went rather well, if you can say that. Person didn't speak to me, except to criticize me for my lack of understanding of backyard gates (oh technology, how I hate you). Person left after an hour of me being there, and for that time it was just me and a friend in the pool while everyone else spoke, leading for little chance of confrontation. Person actually introduced me to their mother (Fourth time IS the best, you know), along with everyone else she's met several times before, but then the following day Person said I was not a worthy person to hang out with. Mixed signals, no? I thought so.
Doctor Kes · Mon Jun 30, 2008 @ 12:15am · 0 Comments |
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