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I found out the balance of my loan is 6000$
I have been working all summer... but I have nothing to show for it. gonk

I'm going to have to keep the Great Steak Job stare so I'll continue to work two jobs and be a full time student.

my Arthitis is hurting... I don't really feel as stiff, but now I hurt instead.

Theres this pain inside now... that is greater then my arthitis.
My group of friends for 8 years has now broken up. I feel like i'm in the middle. I'm confused.

I want to release this pain... Its all one thing after another you know.
I want to be who I use to be... I want to be naive again...
I don't know how to get rid of the pain, I try... I've tried talking but that causes more prombles I feel guilty. I think people are tried of hearing me complain.
I'm going to try and not talk about whats bothering me, I'm going to try my hardest to squeeze all these negavite feelings in to a ball and keep it there. Then maybe I can be who I was again.
I will put on a mask and maybe it will take over!