Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

So my last few journals have been such pills. I got drunk Friday night and got depressed.

I'm actually quite happy right now. I'm starting to feel better and much more angelic. Some of it is because of my friends, some of its because I'm understanding myself better, some of it is because I'm standing up for the things I believe in more and for myself and some of it also is... believe it or not... thanks to Lanzer and his Olympics.

Sounds crazy I know but I found myself slipping away from Gaia and getting bored of it and only posting now and then. The Olympics got me really excited though, I love the manga, I love the mini games (Though some of them annoyed me), I love the new NPC's (Orcs were a bit random and last minute mind you.)

So I've gotten back into Gaia.

On another note, I've been letting my skitzophrenia get the best of me. Usually its one of those things that are rare, but I've been letting things get to me on purpose just so I can show a little more attitude and stand up for myself. Well it worked, scared my sister and didn't let anyone boss me around.

Though I was a lot more pissy at everything. However I'm feeling better now. I've been seeing a lot of my friends. I really must see Dan at some point. But he has work tomorrow and I'm busy Wednsday - Sunday. Must see the other Dan too; Dan Nailer.

Whats been getting to me most recently is how I wasn't thinking for myself, I was also letting other people tell me what to do, none of that anymore. Another thing was the fact that I was really feeling lonely. I do want a boyfriend, the whole Jack and (Boy I can't mention because he may be reading my journal) things are confusing. I like them both, but both not really happening. For now Imma just not bother.

Most thing of all that was getting to me was all the bad things happening, every where I went I heard something bad, something horrid, something scary. Murder, rape. Its all over the TV and such. Even my friends connections get this. I dunno but it drived me into another dimension. Best not to think about it.

So lets just hope I can finally get back to being happy after I sent this journal.

Thanks to everyone whos been helping me and thanks to Lanzer and the Gaia Team for an awesome event.

Ciao!

heart heart heart heart heart heart heart