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This entry is going to be a little different.

Lately i have been thinking, why has all this happened. I've had many people in the past weeks tell me that im too good, and innocent. That usually comes a long with, 'you make it easy to hurt you' or 'you find good in people, but they can backstab you'. I dont know why, but it feels as if no matter how good i am it isnt recognized. No matter how nice and how much I try to be kind it doesnt matter. I'm really tired of the lies. I wish someone would just own up to what they do, if your going to be a whore do it with some dignity! Tonight I have had a fight with a friend I havent been with long, only 2 years. Though that seems short we were unseperable for most of it, always together. I have to say that finding out new things about people isnt always the best way to go. I wish I hadnt spoken to a friend, or I wouldnt know how much of a hypocrit, cheater, and druggie/alcohal she really is. Yes I've found out that she plays innocent infront of people but deep down she goes out gets drunk, has 3 guys on the go... I used to help her see this one, and she would always say she liked him more then anything and then randomly this other man appears. I didnt take it as much now, but I found out she has been cheating on the first guy with the second... the aparent story is that she was drunk the first time... yes there were other times. Anyways along comes another guy who reminds her of the Jonas Brothers... bam 1 and 2 are gone? no. If they were she would have told me that she was dating this third guy when it happened but instead im finding out months later from someone else.... Basically what I am trying to get at is, if I make myself an easy target then I get played. But I cant stop being me, so really im at a loss what to do. I'm highly against everything she has done, mainly the lieing to me part and getting drunk. I'm not really sure if being a good person is worth being hurt so much, so many times. You think you know a person but they were just tricking you all along and you come out somewhat pathetic and stupid.

If anyone reading can help me it would be nice... I dont realy know what to think or feel right now other then pathetic and stupid for trusting her...