It was cold and I could feel the wind blow through my hair. My hair looked like waves in the ocean, flowing back in forth in the wind as I stared off in space. With every breath I took you could see the water vapor escape my lips and float into the air and disappear. It was late October the leaves had turned from apple green to a muddy brown. I watched the leaves slowly fall from the tree to the ground, I was outside oh the front porch of my house just thinking about life. I had a different outlook on life; I thought that everyone had a purpose in life except me. Tears ran down my face and I watched them as they hit the floor. I wiped away my tears quickly as I saw my neighbor approaching me. My neighbors were great they really cared about me because I have known them ever since I was little and they new pretty much my whole life story. She waved and said to me with a huge smile on her face "Good morning Melfena how are you?" I gave her a big smile and said "Good morning Mrs. McCraken I am great thank you" She nodded her head and said "That's great honey well I best be on my way you know how Mr. McCraken gets when he doesn't get his breakfast served to him hot." I smiled and laughed a little then said, "You have a great day Mrs. McCraken." She laughed and went on her way waddling down the sidewalk like a penguin. I watched her as she walked around the corner and disappeared. I then entered my house with a disappointed look no my face my father came up to me. He then said, "Are you ok kiddo?" and I put on a really cheesy smile you know the ones they make you do when you're a little kid and they wave a stupid dust feather in your face and you sitting there thinking "If I do it will you stop waving that stupid thing in my face?" I said to him very sarcastically "Sure dad everything's fine." He smiled and gave me a tight hug and then kissed my head. "I'm off to work, now stay out of trouble while I'm gone and if you get hungry there is food in the pantry." I nodded then saluted him as he walked out the door as I went to turn around to head for the kitchen the door opened. It was my dad he was poking his head through the door "I almost forgot you might have to fend for yourself tonight I may be going to hang out with guys tonight." I said "Alright dad." As he started to close the door he said "I love you Mel see you tonight." He closed the door to quick for me to get out "I love you to dad." I walked over to the couch the couch was a really dark tan color it use to be a lighter tan but I have had this couch for a long time. It had a zig zag pattern on the material and felt a lot like wool but less scratchy. I flopped down on the couch and slowly sank, I felt like I was in quick sand and the couch is a lot like quick sand not matter how hard you struggle to get up or off of the couch its like the more you move the more you sink. I soon started thinking about my life; I had never been a very happy person. When I was young my parents would fight a lot, at first I never really noticed it I thought it was natural but then it started going a little bit to far for my comfort. They would get mad at each other for stupid reason and sometimes they would run off for hours and neither one would know where they went. When I was five my parents had split up and my mom took everything except me. My dad said "You can take anything you want but your but taking Melfena." My mom didn't even try to argue with my dad or disagree with his deal. She just walked out that door with almost everything we had. I was confused for a long time thinking that everything that had happened was my entire fault. I learned later down the road that my parents weren't together that long before my mom figured out that she was pregnant with me. Because they hadn't been together for long it made things difficult plus having me was even more difficult. They stayed together mainly because of me that's why they got married because they thought it would be best for my future. In a way I still blame their problems and myself for they're fighting because if I were never here then they probably wouldn't have had all these problems. I never really got over the fact that my mom left my and my dad. I would cry all day and all night sitting on my bed with baby blue soft sheets with yellow stars all over it. I would cry so much you could take the sheets off my bed and ring them out and the make a little puddle. As I got older I thought it was best that my mom was far away from my dad and me. She had a boyfriend why did she need me, so I stopped calling I stopped writing I stopped trying to be a part of her life. She started to realize she was making the biggest mistake of her life. I stopped trying to be a part of any of my family members lives. They are all just a bunch of drunks drinking their life away, drinking their dreams away and I didn't want to have to do with any of that. I have never even meet or seem most of their faces. Me not knowing half of my family made me feel incomplete. I had a project I had to do in my Spanish class and we had to make an artistic poster about our family and describe what they were like and looked like. I raised my hand and said to the teacher "Miss Howard what if you don't have much of a family or you don't really care about your family?" She scowled at me and said "Melfena that is inappropriate." I was so mad I got out of my chair and slung it backwards. I walked up to her and I got right up in her face, there was only a couple of inches of air keeping me from touching her face. I never really liked her and she never really liked me but she knew not to mess with me its just a vibe I give out that made her shrivel up with her face buried in her knees in her black leather chair behind her dark brown polished wooden desk. She was really short with dark black curly hair she was dark skinned and had a really round and oval face. She wore really proper cloths a nice buttoned down blouse with a dark long black skirt with bright red roses all over it. She always has something against me but this time I wasn't going to let it slide by. I told her sticking my index finger in her face "You know nothing about me, my life, or my family so you need to mind your business and leave me alone." She started to say "Melfena please esc-." I screamed "You know what you don't have to excuse me I will do it myself." I grabbed my backpack and stormed out of the classroom and slammed the wooden door. I slammed the door so hard that it made the classroom window crack. I ran and cried all the way home not even paying much attention to cars flying towards me at fifty miles per hour at that point I didn't really care if they hit me or not I felt like dieing. People were screaming "Melfena stop, wait!" I wouldn't listen I kept on running as soon as I got to the door of my house and was about to walk through the door the neighbors stopped me. I didn't know what to do I felt sweat dripped down my face and onto my lips; I licked my lips because they were dry and I could taste the saltiness of the sweat. My throat was so dry; I gulped really hard then took a deep breath trying to gather my thoughts and turned around. Mrs. McCracken asked "Is everything ok you look a little upset?" I couldn't lie to Mrs. McCraken she was the sweetest old lady with the most innocent face so I answered her honestly. "I just had a really rough day at school today." She looked at me a little concerned but said in her little sweet voice "I am sorry honey, would you like to talk about it?" I smiled and said "No, but thanks I think I am going to go rest for a while." She nodded and said, "Well if you need anything you know where I live and you know how to pick up the phone." I couldn't help but laugh, "Thanks If I need anything I will let you know you two have a nice day." They then went on their merry way and I reached for the handle of the door. I grabbed it and then pulled my hand away quickly like you would do if you burnt your hand on a steaming pot. But the doorknob wasn't hot it was freezing cold. I used the sleeve of my sweater to open the door the door opened slowly and I stepped inside laying my stuff on the floor right beside the door. I asked "Dad are you there?" there was no answer I looked everywhere in the house there was no sign of anyone. I said out loud to myself "Maybe he accidentally turned the air conditioner thinking he turned on the heater." You could see my breath escape from my mouth as I talked out loud to myself. I went into the kitchen hoping it would be warmer in there. I looked on the counter and there was a knife on the counter I put it up and held it up towards my face and examined it for a long time. I could see my reflection in the knife as I twirled it around in front of my face I had thought about what had happened that day and how messed up my family was. I pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and looked at my wrist you could see the blue and purplish looking veins in my wrist. I put the knife gently against my wrist I pressed it into my skin and watched the blood roll down the side of my wrists and onto the white counter. Tears rolled down my face as I tried to clean up the mess. The water ran over my wrist and I watched the blood go down the dream along with my heart or at least what was left of it, from that day on my life changed forever. After a while I got worse I started cutting more and more and I started cutting deeper and deeper. I realized that cutting made me forget the pain and the sorrow and everything I had been through. I was still sitting on the couch not realizing how bad I had been spacing off. I looked at the clock and I said to myself "Wow I didn't realize how long I was out only a couple more house till dad will be heading home." I then struggled trying to help myself get off of the couch. As I finally got off of the couch I started to get depressed thinking about what I was spacing out about. I went into the kitchen squinting my eyes the kitchen lights where so bright I grabbed a knife of the counter and said "One or two wont hurt will it?" I poked the tip of my finger to check if the knife was sharp. I watched as the blood ran down my finger and onto the floor I said "That will do for now, but before I do I have to clean up this mess." I grabbed a napkin and bent down on the floor and wiped it up. I used the counter to help pulled myself up I still wasn't fully awaken from spacing out. As I went to throw the napkin in the trashcan I got this really weird feeling. Have you ever those feelings where it feels like there's someone standing right behind you just waiting for you to turn around to see who or what it is? Well I turned around to find a dark figure staring me right in the face. I was so scared my heart was beating a million miles per hour or at least it sure felt like it. I didn't know what to think it was and I didn't really care at the moment. This dark figure didn't have a face but it had a body shape of a man. It wore a dark long coat that buttoned up with a top hat and white gloves and a black tie with nice dress shoes. It tried reaching out to me with its huge unreal hands I tried getting away but my body was I shock it wasn't going anywhere. My knees grew weak and I fell to the floor dropping the knife on my way down. I hit the floor hard black and white tiled floor it knocked me out for a couple minutes. I woke up and I saw the knife on the floor I crawled my way over to the knife and grabbed it quickly. I looked around for the dark figure but he was nowhere in sight. I quickly pulled myself up using the counter and ran into the living to see if the front door was locked. I looked at the gold locks on the door confused at first but then screamed "The windows!" I checked every single window in the house they were all closed and locked tight. As I massaged my head I said with all the energy I had left "Melfena your starting to go insane maybe if I cool down I will fell better." I thought maybe splashing my face with some nice cold water would cool me off. I headed down my long and dark hallway towards the bathroom. I opened the door to the bathroom and took a couple steps inside and turned on the switch for the bathroom lights. I then locked the door still holding the knife in my hand. I turned around and screamed I dropped the knife it hit the ground barely missed my foot. I found myself looking at my reflection in the mirror I grabbed my chest and clenched it trying to regain my regular heart rate. I leaned against the wall the bathroom felt like it was spinning I slowly slid down the side of the wall eventually sitting myself down trying to keep the room from spinning so much. I curled up into a little ball my knees were in my chest I had started to cry furiously so I buried my face into my knees. After I had thought I had cried all my sorrow and pain away I lifted my head up and wiped the tears away with the sleeves of my jacket. I looked around trying to get my thoughts and myself back together. I saw the knife still lying there was I had dropped it I picked it up of the floor and leaned back sitting against the wall. I just looked at the knife and then looked at my reflection in the knife. I then cleared my mind of everything and pulled up the sleeve of my jacket and set the knife blade against my wrist and closed my eyes. I thought about how much I hated my family and how much I wanted to die because of all the things they had put her through. I slide the blade across my wrist twice carelessly no even feeling anything at first. I then opened my eyes to see a puddle of blood surrounding my whole body. I looked at my reflection in the knife once more. Blood ran the knife and covered the reflection of my face, the hand that was holding the knife was shaking so bad and tears started rolling down my face like a little stream. I was so disappointed in myself and I was so furious with myself I threw the knife into the tub with what strength I had left. Then I buried my head back into my knees and cried for a long time thinking about what I had done. I said "What have I done, what am I doing?" The room grew very cold the floor felt like sheets of ice and the lights dimmed down and started flickering. I quickly forgot about everything as I felt like someone or something was near me. I quickly lifted my head and looked to my right and there it was the black figure was back. I quickly got up and ran to the door I tried unlocking it but it was like the lock was stuck. "Come on open you stupid door!" I shook it and kicked on it like my life depended on getting out of that door. I didn't know if it did or not but all I know is that I didn't want to be anywhere near that…thing whatever it was. I gave up I let go of the door handle and looked for something to help defend myself. I looked for the knife but I remembered I threw it in the bathtub. There was no way I could get to it without…I noticed the dark figure was holding something. "The knife!" I screamed. It started getting closer and closer I kept backing up till there was nowhere else I could go. I was in the corner left defenseless and it just kept getting closer and closer like I was calling to it but I wasn't I didn't want that thing anywhere close to me. I screamed "What do you want from me?!" It didn't answer I didn't know what to do the dark figure was so close I could feel the material of its buttoned down jacket rub against the skin of my arm. I thought about earlier how I closed my eyes and the figure disappeared. I quickly closed my eyes as tight as possible and the room grew silent and the room became uncomfortable hot again. I opened my eyes and the lights were so bright it felt like I was looking directly into the sun. I looked away and tried to fix my vision all I could see was spots from the lights. After a while I got my vision back to normal and I looked around for the dark figure, but it was gone. I told myself "Get a grip Mel, its all in your head." I turned on the sink and watched as the water twirled around and slowly went down the drain like a whirlpool. I grabbed a handful of water and looked at my reflection in the water then splashed my face. I looked in the mirror watching water as it rolled off my face and on to the counter. I notice that my wrists were still bleeding which wasn't really surprising because they were still really fresh. As I looked at them in the reflection of the mirror I noticed how big of a mess I had made trying to get out of the bathroom. There were bloody handprints on the door, on the floor; on the counter…they were everywhere. Tears rolled down my face as I said, "I better clean this up before dad gets home and finds out what I have done." I grabbed a washcloth out of the cabinet and ran it under the water. The water felt good as it ran over my open cuts. It felt almost as good as having a really dry throat and feeling the icy cold water as it runs down your throat and quenches your thirst. I ringed it out so that the water wouldn't be dripping all over the place. I said, "I better bandage this up before I make and even bigger mess." I looked in the cabinet for a bandage and some peroxide but only found some peroxide I grabbed the peroxide and sat in on the counter. I looked in every cabinet for anything that I could use to cover the cuts so that they didn't get infected or that my dad wouldn't see them. All that I saw was an old tattered shirt of my dads that he never seems to pick up every time I tell him to. It's a red and green platted buttoned down shirt with half of the buttons missing and holes everywhere I would hardly call it's a shirt I would call it and old and stinky piece of material
XxSatanicSoulxX Community Member 
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