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I'm used to waiting. It pretty much becomes normal after years of sitting around under half moons just sort of thinking, trying, but today was different. I watched the door and every moment or so there was a feeling I would get that almost drove me insane. The random voice that always comes when I'm close to losing it was back again. She reached out, grabbed me by the throat, and said "He's not coming. Never really was. Stop ******** with yourself."

I drop it, the subject, and just sit there in a daze. It's really easy actually, once you find out that all of the little things mean absolutely nothing and every catastrophic moment of regret,, just sort of fades away. I don't strip bare, but i strip complete. my entire life has been spent of open-ended goodbyes, shotgun ideals, and loves lost. It feels only right to spend another 16 years with the same mindset.