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The song hero by superchick made me think,and reminded me of myself im that girl who writes in her arm,who can't handel the hurt and I am all alone, I've done it before and that im sad to say I've tried to die in lots of ways, pioson,chokeing you name it I've tried it but for some reson God won't let me die and there are times I forget how much he cares for me and I atemnt suicide again and again,thank goodness that Jesus puts someone in my life to stop me from killing myself.I have been bullied to threatend,I have even been beaten and abused,I have even been raped by my friend's grandfather.I used to be a street fighter every one feared and I used to get into fights all the time and did this year with my bff because she slapped me and broke my favorite cd in half and cussed me out so when she punched me i fought back in defence and i got the best of her thoe im not proud of it and i started crying after we were pulled apart becuase i had hurt her while she just stormed off angry.I don't have many friends or people who care about me even my own mother doesn't even hug me or spend time with me and always has an excuse.I don't want any of you to feel bad for me but then I also don't want any of you not to be touched,I hope my horable life will some how help you in your life to becoming closer to God in everything you do.
As I finesh writing this I'm nearly in tears,
and wonder why God would put me through all the bad stuff I have gone through at such a young age?
Sadly my adopted father was the one who would beat me wit ha belt till I blead,and it started whe nI was only 4 years old till I was 10.and I was also 10 when my friends grandfather hurt me,and how my so called friend Chase left me with him and said,"You think I was going to stay with you,he's twice our size,and did you want hi mto get me too!?".Even after she said that to me when I told her wha ther grandpa did to me but when her best friend Sabrina got hurt by her grandfather she got mad at him.I still don't get it wh yshe didn't want to help me or even try to period.This is all the itme i have to right this but please don't feel sad for me,and let this help you come to Christ Jesus our lord.
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Love is for losers,fantisys are for kids i guess im both because i wish I had a boyfriend,someone who cares,someone who like's me for who i am,someone who's sweet,someone who'll never forget me,and hes waiting for me becuase gods controlling my love story.
