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I'm losing it here, folks. It's like I'm trying to hold on to something that just slips through my fingers every time I grab at it. I'm reaching for smoke but it just runs between my fingers. Words don't even come out right anymore. My mouth and head are filled with disjointed thoughts and my brain is dislocating my heart. I wish that I didn't think. I wish that I didn't feel anything. Being human is hard work, you know?

My tongue is heavy in my mouth and I'm not sure how to talk to people anymore. I run through the actions but it's only mechanics at this point. Robot-girl is working out her acting mechanisms in social situations and real-irl is curled in a corner of her old mind, now an austere gunmetal-gray. She doesn't know where to go or who to turn to, because robot-girl has taken over her body and is working hard towards mediocrity. Being a big kid is hard work. I don't belong here.

I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't have anywhere to go.The most welcoming thought of waking up is that I'll get to go back to bed, soon. Is that sad? That I'm waking up to go to sleep? Anything that occurs in between is just a filler. Just a way to waste time.

Let's press mute for a moment, you and me. Let's close out the sounds of the world around us and disappear into oblivion. I don't think that it will be lonely if there's two of us. You with your strengths and me with my own. We can hold each other up, and watch over one another while we sleep. We can hold each other when we cry and we can dance like no one's watching when we're happy. Becuase no body will be watching. There will be me and you and of course we'll fight but we'll be okay in the end, because we are the same, you and me. We have our humanity in common, and that's enough, right?

I think so. You are my friend, and I am yours. Together, we may not make sense. We may not even make one whole ordinary person, but we make something, and I think that that is enough. don't you?

so, it's decided then. We'll press mute. We'll silence the world and we'll disappear together. Of course they'll wonder where we went. They'll probably send out search parties and maybe we'll even get out own movie on Lifetime TV: The two who disappeared. But it sounds more like a 1940s horror movie, doesn't it? Well, that's alright. Let them make what they want of our mysterious disappearance. It's okay with us-- we'll be long gone by then. We'll go somewhere where it doesn't matter if we're asleep or we're awake, because they'll look exactly the same. It's not going to be perfect, but nothing ever is, is it?

I'll do my best for you, though. I promise that I will. So, please, can you do your best for me? Can you hold me when I'm sad, and talk to me about nothing when I'm sad? I'll do it for you, I swear that I will. Will you hold me when I'm crying and will you laugh at my stupidity when I act like I shouldn't? I'll always be there for you, if you do. My love for you, my friend, is unconditional, so can you please love me as much? I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable, honest. I just want you to know what I am-- every last horrible inch, and I want you to accept it.

You don't have to mute the world, you don't have to come with me, you don't even have to love me as much as I love you. All I want-- all I need is for you to care, just a little. I just want you to see through the rust-layered robot-girl and to notice that there's still someone in there. Can you mute it? All the noise? Me? If you can, you're a better person than me-- or maybe just better adapted-- because I can't. I'm still not used to it-- all the noise from humanity.