Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I apologize if I don't post or reply much on here for a few days. I'm stressed beyond all hell and combined with hormones of that oh so lovely time of the month, it's not going to end well.

I just...I can't stand how I am feeling right now and I don't want to snap at anyone.

ALSO: DON'T BOTHER READING IF YOU ARE GONNA BE AN a*****e ABOUT IT. I KNOW THERE ARE A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE WORLD WITH MUCH WORSE PROBLEMS THAN ME, BUT I NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST INSTEAD OF LETTING IT BOTHER ME WHILE I TRY TO SLEEP. YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ IT, I JUST NEEDED TO RELIEVE SOME STRESS.

Me and the boyfriend just snapped at each other and we never fight, so that's what set me off. We resolved that though, as he is just stressed as well and it had nothing to do with each other. But that still doesn't help my other problems.

I have to finish school in the next semester, high school mind you because my dumb a** failed a bunch of classes in ninth grade. Why? Because I'm stupid and lazy and was so exciting about having a friend that I didn't do a goddamn thing and ended up failing most of that grade. I had too much going on to go back to it at the first semester. And what I was told was a lie, I was supposed to only go for half a year, the counselors told me this. Then, I find out that I have to go back for five credits which can't be done in half a year and that I'd have to go for a whole one. Apparently if I had taken night school I would have been fine. Now I asked this assholes about night school classes for several MONTHS but they never gave me what I needed or helped me out in signing up or whatever and I ended up not being able to take it. They screwed me the ******** over and they don't wanna help me at this point. I thought I could take online schooling, yet even the ones that are supposedly free, cost money. Wtf is this bullshit?

I don't drive yet, and I need to, I am trying to read this book given to me from Secretary of State that, once completed, I should be able to take some tests, put in hours and get a license. Yet I am hearing that they are changing it so that no matter your age, over 18 or not, you'll need to take the class this year. First off, the class costs like 250 bucks per half (You gotta take two courses) so I don't have the money for that, and even if I COULD drive, I don't have the money for a car and I can barely reach the pedals to begin with. I also need glasses to be able to legally drive because I have bad eyesight. I don't have glasses nor the money for those either.

I don't have insurance any more because I'm 18 and not in school full time. I am screwed. I still need a lot of dental work done, but I can do nothing about it. If I get sick I am screwed and I tend to get sick, a lot. I have bad health even if I try my hardest to eat healthy and everything. Nothing works. Speaking of healthy, I need to lose some goddamn weight. I'm not to the point where it's sickening or I'm in danger, but I am fat and I definitely need to lose like 30 pounds. I hate seeing my own body. Not to mention my skin is bad and no matter what I try, it either makes it worse or does nothing at all.

I have asthma but no inhaler because my mom always 'borrows' mine.

I can't get a job no matter how many places I apply for. The economy is hell, especially in Michigan, and no matter where I go, even a goddamn candle shop, someone always has an extra 10-20 years experience and gets the job. I don't have any experience because no one is willing to be my first employer. Wtf is up with that! I can't get experience if I can't get started! I need the job and the money, I have to pay for college, a car and a place to live. I'm not staying in the horrible house I am in now. I can barely stand my family, no one knows how to manage money so we are always broke, my mom is overly catholic breathing down my neck about prayers and whatnot, and I honestly can't tell her that I'm wiccan or bisexual or anything else because even though she's 'fine with those kinds of people', if it was in her house she'd kill me. My brother is a drunk and although the most damage he does is break something or pee in the kitchen (horrible experience), it's annoying. He's worse than a woman, nearly bald and still spends three hours doing his hair. My little brother isn't much better. My father is probably the only normal person around here but he can't even support the family because half his money goes to bankruptcy or whatever the hell it is. I can't stand this s**t anymore. The sooner I'm out, the better.