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JOURNAL
THIS. Is my journal, I guess. and, I'm gonig to write about things if I am bored, or mad, or sad, etc..
to stephanie.
Your words touched me and, I know what you're saying. and you are the one who knows my secrets and emotions. and love, I know yours.
I know now because you're so, true, so, you. You touched my heart more then anything could ever. and I will hold you, make you feel okay, if you'll forgive me, if you'll allow me. Though all day I've been upset and crying, mad at myself and worried about you. All my thinking, all of my distorted thinking, you, have taught me more then I ever could of imagined. After everything was over(right after I did that, or let it happen), I knew, that I didn't want it, none could ever mean the same to me as you have. But I made myself not think of it at the time, for I knew I would cry. I don't know why it took so much tears for me to realize, that the emotion is the most important. and I have(had?) that with you.

My mom came in whiel you were typing to me on runescape. I know, that I have trouble telling people how much they mean to me, especially the most important ones, like you... And you know, you're more then right. Your emotion gets to me, I don't know knowing you feeling sad, and I especailly don't like it, when I'm the cause of the pain. touch me so deeply. As I being weird, when you came up to me, something about the way you talk, for a few seconds I thought it was you.
I promise I will learn from this. But what I think I've learned is the most important. I learned that I always need to think, when I don't think I get blocked up when I don't think things through. I also learned that you mean more to me then I ever thought, and I don't feel like I told you that enough, sometimes I feel like I don't know how to say it though. Which to me; not telling you how I feel about you, makes me more angry, makes me feel gross. Sometimes I guess I feel like telling you how much you mean to me is a weakness, but now I think, maybe I should have thought of it as a strength.
I want to thank you also. Thank you for being there, and showing me that you cared and, thank you for the thank you :'[ , and the lesson, I now know to be more careful, and I should always be.
I don't know what took me so long to realize you were all I needed. I hope it's not to late. If it is, I'll just have to deal, I choose what happened, I choose the consequences.iloveyou.with my whole.heart.
~this is a day to remember~
Noverber 11th, 2008

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Any love that is love is right.

lucifers_fallen
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