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if i am dead tomorrow OH WELL. T.T i'm sad and people are mean and i'm sad and lonely and unloved and hated and stupid and hated and sad and unloved and i just hate me and the world. why couldn't it just go right. why could i just be happy. why am i so alone. why does no one care. it's too bad for those who really did miss me. they better say they love me before it's too late. agh, *dying of sadnesss* agh....ack. x.X [died of a broken heart] </3

it's just like that dream
the one in my head
the one i try to forget
it's just like that dream
the one where i fell
into a deep depression
it's just like that dream
the one so sad
where my heart is dying of pain
it's just like that dream
the one that i hate
the one that keeps me so low
it's just like that dream
just like that dream
the one where i end up dead.

so i had this dream last night. it was a wonderful dream. i fought like a warrior, like a deamon of the night. and in the end i was defeated, by the simplest thing, love. the enemy, he knew that i could never kill him. he knew that i would fall to my knees in forgiveness. and i did. and he loved me. but the battle, the fight still hot in my blood, i killed them all. all but him. everyone else was dead, even my own teammates. and we were alone. it was just so amazing the way that i felt. i was finally understanding things. and then i woke up. back to this world. i sat up and cried. cried like i do everynight, calling out to anyone to free me from this terror. i sat there and cried. and i hate it all. hate this.. hate my life. hate all these people. i hate it. the only thing i want. the only thing it seems everyone else has. the only thing i crave, and i will never be satisfied. i swear i will grow to be old. old and alone. alone forever. i hate it. i hate it so much. i don't know if i can make it either. i'm sorry....