Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

wacky web tales.

A Funky Fourth

Every year, VanOsdolberg has a huge Fourth of July picnic. In addition to the usual booths that sell fried Ashley and pizza on a stick, and the face-jumping stand, VanOsdolberg always hosts a play reenacting famous historical scenes.

This year, things became confused because some scripts got mixed up at the copy shop. Last year, residents saw George Washington crossing the Delaware River, while this year, residents saw Avril lavine cooking across Liberty bell! A few years ago, residents saw Thomas Jefferson writing the Declaration of Independence. This year, they saw Hanna Montanna rushing Captain Underpants. To top it all off, instead of watching Abraham Lincoln recite the Gettysburg Address, residents saw Tom cruise eating The raven!

The town elders didn't know if they should be laughing or crying. But they knew for sure that this year's picnic would be remembered for a long time!

A Valentine Poem

lillys are purple,
daisys are blue,
cats are furry
And so are you.

A Detective for Halloween

This Halloween, I tried something different. I went as a detective! Detectives are large because they solve mysteries. My dad thought it was a good idea for me to take our dog Scooter along, because every good detective has a(n) dog, he said.

Things went along smoothly until Scooter saw our neighbor's cat and chased it up a(n) pencil. I almost dropped my candy, but luckily, Scooter doesn't jumping very quickly.

We then went to james's house to meet him and his little sister. I hate Trick or Treating with little sisters. They are no fun! But james's dad said we had to take her along.

Well, it was a good thing I was a detective, because james's little sister ran away from us and we were really scared that she was lost. Luckily, Scooter sniffed her out and brought her back to us. She had only gone across the street to see her friends. I'm such a(n) furry detective!


Dear Diary,

Today was the most pretty day at school! haley didn't speak to me all day. I big forgot my homework for math class. My new friend jose isn't talking to me anymore. And to top it all off, I forgot my lunch, so I had to borrow money to buy lunch. I hate borrowing money, I hate forgetting my homework, and I hate it when my friends don't talk to me! wow! I hope tomorrow is a better day!

Dear Diary,

Everything was much better today. haley wasn't mad at me; she was just upset because her parents would not let her go to a party. She was cheesy toward everyone. My math teacher said she'd only take one point off my homework because this was the only time I'd ever forgotten anything. She said everyone makes stinky mistakes sometimes. My new friend jose is talking to me. He was just busy helping out a sick friend. He had to gather all of his friend's homework. My friend who loaned me the money for lunch yesterday said I didn't have to pay him back, because I had loaned him money for lunch a while ago. I hope every day is a good as today!

All kids worry about their first school dance. Will I look beautiful? Will my friends be there? Will I dance with someone I like? Will I dance with someone I don't like?

Well, here at “autumn's Dream Dates,” we make sure that one of these questions is answered: You WILL dance with someone you like. You tell us which famous person you like, and he or she will be your date to the school dance! It's just that easy!

We use the dogtron 1000000000 to replicate that famous person, complete with any personality enhancements you request. Does avril lavigne do something ugly you don't like? Well, in your replicated version, not anymore! He or she is just what you always imagined! Each famous person is guaranteed to be a perfect lady or gentleman and to have you home 12 minutes before curfew. Call us today!

It was a cold, fun night. kara and paige jumped around the campfire, playing songs and eating grapes.

Soon they got tired, climbed into their kittens, and eventually fell asleep. Suddenly, they were both wide awake. There was a loud hoping sound outside the tent. paige grabbed kara's heart and held on for dear life. kara started chanting, “Lions and dogs and bears, oh my!” over and over again.

Then into their tent fell their friend lauren. lauren had been thirsty and had gone into the house for some root beer. Now the root beer was on the floor of their tent. But they all had a good laugh and went back to sleep.

It turned out to be a very ugly camping trip. And maybe next time they'll even leave paige's backyard.