Author: .Britney.Nicole.
Rating:
– but only 3 if you like soap operas.Full Name (including any titles): Sora, Riku, Kairi, Selphie, etc...
Full Species(es): Canonus imposterus (claim to be canon characters but act exactly NOT like them)
Hair Color (include adjectives): As canon
Eye Color (include adjectives): As canon
Unusual Markings/Colorations/Physical Features: As canon, except the girls are pregnant and Kairi has cancer.
Special Possessions (if any): “Damn babies”? A cure for cancer that’s totally free of side-effects?
Origin: The armpits of Hell
Connections To Canon Characters: Have the same names and appearances as them
Special Abilities: Being incredibly OOC?
Other Annoying Traits: Sora calling Kairi a b***h. Repeatedly. That alone made this fic fair game.
I Say/Notes: It’s a very typical soap opera. Even when Sora finds out Riku was sleeping with Kairi, he simply punches him out rather than them having an epic Keyblade battle in Hollow Bastion. We’ve been cheated out of any kind of good fight scenes, and I want my money back. Also, the author knows less about cancer than I do, and that’s saying something.
Prologue
Kairi was sitting on the docks waiting for Sora.She read what she had wrote and she started to cry,when he got their he saw that his grilfriend was crying.
Sora: .... Got their what?
Riku: You have a “grill friend”?
Kairi: Yeah, you know, we islanders are famous for our barbeques.
Sora: So tasty, it’ll bring tears to your eyes.
"Kairi what's wrong?"He asked.
"Here."She said and she handed him the letter.
Some emo poem, which the author did not write, goes here. Snipped except for the last stanza.
The best thing you can do for me is just be there
Just like always,my friend
My broken heart is hurting bad
And it will never mend.
-Kairi
Axel: Awww. You’re a poet and you don’t even know it.
Kairi: And my feet don’t show it, ‘cause they’re not Longfellows.
Sora: *holds up one foot* Wow! I must be the next William Butler Yeats!
Riku: ...... Who?
"K-kairi,why?"He asked.
"I just can't g-go on w-with you a-anymore."She said
Riku: It must be really cold if your teeth are chattering like that.
"But Kairi,I l-love you..."He said
"Sora...I'm sorry I can't go on."She said and she started to cry.
Kairi: So.... what? I’m breaking up with him?
Sora: That’s not very you of you.
Axel: Wasn’t she already crying before that?
Riku: Doesn’t it say in the poem that she wants him to “just be there”?
"W-why?"He asked.
"Sora theirs some one else!"She spatted out.
Axel: I officially turn this fic over to the Spelling And Grammar Gestapo!
Larxene: Shh! You’re ruining the heartbreaking rejection!
"What,Your saying you were cheating on me the entire time?"He asked.
Kairi and Sora: WHAT.
Axel: Baby, I’ve been sleepin’ with your sister.
Larxene: Ah! Which one?!
Axel: All of ‘em.
Larxene: Oh yeah?! Well, I’ve been sleepin’ with your best friend Jay!
Axel: Oh yeah?! Well – well me too!
"Y-yes...Sora I'm really sorry,I'll always love you forever..but I can't go on with you no more."She said and she walked away.
"Ok fine,I see how it is...You useless b***h."He said.
Sora: WHAT.
Kairi: Holy...
Riku: *severely* Now I know you did not learn that word in this household.
"Sora,No..."She said quietly.
"I can't believe you...If you told me before I would've given you a second chance,But I guess I can't now because you don't want to go on with me..."Sora said and a small tear fell down his cheek.
Larxene: How can you tell? Isn’t it raining?
Riku: Um... no, actually, it isn’t.
Larxene: *folds her arms* Well, sheesh. What the hell kind of soap opera is this?
"I've always loved you,but now I'm the one who is feeling pain!"He yelled.
Axel: I’m gonna guess it’s your kind, Larx.
Larxene: *sigh* But it’s not as much fun when they admit it...
"Sora..please stop."She said calmly
"No,How can I stop...You told me their was someone else...and you expect me to stop,You always were a b***h."He said and Kairi started crying.
Kairi: .... For the third time in two minutes.
Sora: WHAT.
"Sora...I've always loved you,but we can't go on right now,maybe in the future we can but not now,I have to get my life straight first,then we can be together again..I promise."She said and she walked away.
"I promise too."He said and he walked the other way.
Sora: *in shock*
Riku: Geez... and this is just the beginning?
Larxene: Oh, it gets better. I’ve read it through already.
Axel: You mean... you came to the sporking voluntarily?
Larxene: *nods*
Kairi: ... That’s never a good sign.
Sora: WHAT’S HAPPENING TO MY WORLD?!
