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First of all to get off my chest: My Fear

I am really scared right now though my stomach hurts. I have not eaten really anyhting today. All I ate was a yogurt and some hot cheetos. I have been too creeped out to come out of my room. It is the only place I feel even remotely comfortable right now.

I just went to the bathroom and took a crap right, well there was also blood. It wasn't from PMS'ing though. I haven't had my period since the week of Sept. 18th. Blood literally came out my a**. I am sure of it. It hurt like a b***h. My stomach still hurts from it. I called my mom and I'm going to visit the free center tomorrow over at the school.

Now for the Good Stuff: My Wishes

My Christmas Wish is going to come true it looks like. I will have four sisters, one of is my sister already. There is the fire that warms my heart with anger and enlightenment. She warms my heart so that I never want to part. There is the water that calms my soul with clarity to see dreams and inspires courage to wish once more. I look up to her so that it almost feels like I am drowing when I am around her. There is the air, whom I am already bonded, that lifts me to the highest and forces me to fly on my own. When I am around her there is no place I cannot reach nor is there any limit to our strength or spirit. With my sisters we shall each be invinvible in our own ways. I know what I shall ask of my sisters to complete my faith.

This is more than some hokey-pokey ritual, it is something that stays in your life forever.