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I don't know, it's so odd. I'm just well, wondering how the world works. How things just happen. If there is one thing I haven't learned about human behavior, it's mood. I may understand actions, and I may know how to use those actions to provide a reaction that will give me results that benefit me with near no fail. I may know emotions, and what they are, and how they are caused. But I just can never understand exactly how it works. How do they come out so differently? How do they change so frequently? It's just all too confusing. So, here I am, thinking about them, it's just eating my brain up.

What I don't get even more is how I actually think, why is it that I can understand how others think, but I can't understand how I think? I have to say, (if you should even call it this) I am the one person I feel that, even with time, that I will not be able to read. Doubly so, I can't even understand my emotions, I feel as if they're out of control. I wish I could control them, but every other attempt fails except one. Will I mention it? No. Those really close'll understand what that method is. It was the only thing I had known to keep me from falling apart, but I swore not to do it again. I suppose it doesn't help that I feel as if I'm slowly dying from the inside out. It's my health too that's been bothering me. But it's okay, I've come to terms with it. I know I'm most likely going to die before I'm 30.