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There's nothing cooler than hearing your girlfriend say she'll beat up your stalker and bury him under six feet of canadian snow.
Kingdom Spork : The Hearts and The Heartless 7
Chapter 7:It's time(day 1)

7 months have passed since Kairi was told that she had cancer.She was happy that the doctor told her that she was better.Sora was really happy because he didn't lose his fiance and his baby...Sora was sitting on the couch watching tv until he heard a scream.

Sora: So... the cancer is just magically cured?
Kairi: With no remission or side effects at all? I get to keep my hair?
Riku: I’ll bet you anything real cancer survivors would hate this story.
Kairi: They would anyway...
Axel: You don’t have to be a cancer survivor to hate this piece of—

"SORA!"Kairi yelled.

"What!"He said.

Snip.

"Get me to the damn hospital."

"Why."

"Because I'm having a damn baby."

Axel: Ohhh! Not just a baby, but a damn baby!
Larxene: Damn Syndrome is a rare birth defect, usually caused by taking chemotherapy in the first trimester...

Snip.

"I'm trying...could you waddle faster,your wasting time."He said.

Sora: *rolls his eyes* Thank you, Mr. Sensitivity...

"What...do you...expect,I'm..carrying...500...pounds,I..can't...waddle...any..faster."She said and she tried her best to get to the car.

Kairi: That is a big damn baby.
Larxene: Actually, it’s two big damn babies. But you were close.

Snip. This story repeatedly exceeds my maximum tolerated Length To Plot Ratio.

"SORA GOD DAMN IT,IF YOU DON'T GET ME TO THE HOSPITAL,I'M NOT GONNA MARRY YOU..NOW DRIVE!"She yelled.

Larxene: Labor is known to bring out the worst in a woman.
Kairi: This is beyond “worst.” This is like..... you.
Larxene: *brandishes knives* Normally I don’t hit girls, but you’re not making this easy.

Suddenly, the story becomes too dumb and boring to continue. In the sporking theater, such a lack of tolerance is symbolized by the tapes suddenly running off the reel and being mangled beyond repair.

Riku: So.... is that the end?
Larxene: Aw, come on. There’s supposed to be two and a half more chapters!
Kairi: That was sudden.
Roxas: *coming back into the theater* So we can go home now?
Axel: I thought you already did.
Roxas: *shakes head* I can’t leave the building without breaking my contract, so I’ve been hanging out by the snack bar watching teaser trailers.
Sora: So, uh... *scratches head* What have we learned from this fic?
Riku: That’s easy. Daytime TV sucks.
Larxene: Well, I liked it. *folds arms*

END


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