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i am in control. i am not a monster. she ran to me asking for help. all i could do was look at what she had become. she wanted me to help her when she left me when i needed her. she was crying and looking at the monster that was comeing for her. i didnt want to help her. i wanted her to sufer. i wanted her to feel the pain i did. when she was crying it made me feel joy. when she was say i can control it i did not understand. when she was looking at me screaming and saying you can control it your not a monster. i did not understand. i wanted her to feel the pain i did. i wanted her to sufer. but then i saw myself i saw what i became. i lost control. i became a monster. i became what i hated. i became what i cryed over. she ran to me. she put her arms around me. she said you can take control. you can not be a monster. i saw her face she was sad. she was in pain. i did not understand. she disipeard. then i realized she was the good in me she helped me keep control. we are one . now i am in control. i am not a monster.