Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

neutral <--worried.

mm cake.

Y'know if you ever need anything, you can always call me... sorry I haven't been online much recently, people seem to not want to give up the computers. Ever. Unless I have homework, at which point its 'get your work done then get off.'

but seriously. If you need me, I has a phone.

How does chocolate frosting not taste like chocolate? D:

ya know...strange thing. I have a pokemon I put up on my profile yesterday, which I will be changing again. I like it now, but it'll just keep me depressed probably. That and I found a vid with all 12 pokemon openings D:
of course...I stopped watching pokemon at Battle Frontier ^^;;

But it's good to hear you're doing alot better today. It was...quite worrying. =(

I can see why you would say that your boyfriend keeps you in balance more then anyone. There is always going to be someone that you or even someone else considers or places more trust into then anyone else in their life. Points varying of course for each individual. I place a lot of my trust in my grandfather, but even I can't tell him everything, which is still a dilemma I have to conquer in time. The unknown is always going to be there and sometimes, we're excited about that. Fire can be both dangerous and helpful. But loneliness, will always be loneliness. It's not something you truly get over since it has the potential to intrude everyday life.

I had went home in December and stayed there for about 3 weeks. But there, I had barely an internet access, and because of my grandmother, I can't make calls on my cellphone really except for on the weekends. But while there...all I did was think. My grandfather would occasionally come by and ask what I was doing. I would say "thinking" and he would sigh saying that it was bad for me. Since whenever I do, I appear depressed, worried, miserable, etc. Just being alone with my thoughts is enough to drive me insane, to the point that well, thats self explanatory in a way.

Anyways, I know how you feel when it comes down to the whole, you start thinking you're crap and everything else when it gets to that point. But don't beat yourself up so much. You KNOW he loves you right? and YOU know you love him? Embrace that until he makes the call. You might feel better even. There are a number of things that comes into each of our lives. It's the same way for him, but he really should have made a call. It's not fair, and he really should realize that. This is the point where..everything starts to change, everyone gets busy, where your life and those around you begin to see different roads from the one you had been traveling up until this time. He should realize that. This is the most critical time in your life right now. Where you start to take part in decisions that will affect the rest of your life. I'm not trying to scare you in any way, but he, in some sort of way, should realize this. You NEED him right.

So, when he makes that call, make sue to tell him this. You're falling apart, and you can only hope that after this is all solved, he considers this the next time something like this may happen. People make mistakes, but they can learn from them as well right? ^^

Once again, I hope that this problem is soon solved and that you go back to being yourself again ^^
and although you probably won't or can't, I'm almost always available for a chat here or there.
-Myst

enjoy that cake! ^^



In my opinion, as well as yours it seems that loneliness is one of many fears we as humans are forced to face. Although I find Loneliness in it self to be far worse. You can be in the dark, but there will always be a source of light to shine though. You could be faced with death, but after the situation, its in the back of your mind.