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for about awhile me and Kage Tenshi have been talking about what it is in life either one of us really want to do. and we actually came to a conclusion..we're not sure. until recently. when we were talking about it, it seemed like a good idea but when i told my parents they were skeptical and they were still persistant in me becoming a nurse. however, i kept telling them from the beginning that if i'm not even happy seeing pre-nursing as a major on my transcript i'm never going to be happy as a nurse. yes, i'll have money...but i'd rather have a job where not only i'm making money but i'm actually happy doing.i've had various relatives come and visit me throughout a number of years and when i told them about how i'm feeling about my major. they immediately tell me to reconsider being a nursing major and to change to a business. i kept hearing the same line over and over "if you aren't happy with that major..why are you pursuing it." at first i had a really strong answer, "because i have a promise to keep," but the more i say that the more i question myself. i keep thinking that is it really because i have to keep my promise to my parents or i was just confused about what it is i really want. when there is something that i really like..for some reason later on life i feel guilty about it. when i had a heart -to-heart with my parents regarding my major we really discussed everything. i think my mom stills stands by her ultimatum. i have to still apply for the nursing program but whether or not i get accepted or not after the application i can choose whether or not i want to stay in it. but when i heard my mom tell me that..i thought..cool..it's ok. but later on when i actually got down to really think about..it finally hit me..she just wanted me to apply for the nursing program...i've told her and my dad numerous times that..there is NO WAY IN HELL! that i'm going to be a nurse. as much as they want me to be...i'm never going to be a nurse. i'm actually tearing up as i write this. but recently when i talked to my mom about the topic. it was a very serious moment. she told me to forget my friends, forget about her and my dad, forget about the rest of the family and think what it is that I REALLY want. it hit me then...is this what i really want. and ever since the semester started and that's all i have been thinking about. and honestly...it's been bothering me..a lot. and up to today...it's been eating me up a lot. but when i'm with Kage Tenshi and my other friends..i feel happy..without a care in the world. i feel even better during fanime..i realized that why not have something related to anime and other things that i really care about. anime. music. fashion. food. video games. style. those are things that i really have a passion for. i feel a lot better just writing it all out. i think i might make my decision before the semester ends.

i mean my parents always tell me all they want me to be is just happy yet when i tell them that i don't want to be a nursing major and that i'm miserable they tell me that it'll get better in time and that it's for your own good. but it's my future...i'll see soon. i hope everything will go smoothly. night.

later<3

krissy<3