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Everyone Knows that its Souzou!
It's made of crack ... No REALLY
I Still Suck At This
Still having my usual problems with strapping myself down and actually getting my work done. I don't know why, but I'm just feeling really done with school right now.

But there's a slight problem. My mom helps me cover half of Cath's rent while I'm in classes up here. TECHNICALLY, my quarter break in the year will be this next quarter, but mom seems to be severely pushing me to keep going.

One of her reasons is the fact that we'll be paying Cath while I'm basically not there at all. Definitely an issue, but when WILL I be allowed a break? It's going to happen eventually. Her second reason was that I will be able to get through all of classes a lot faster. I understand that, but I'm feeling VERY worn out. I just need a break. I really do.

She suggested I try to take fewer classes in the quarter, but that would have a conflict with our insurance plan. I think I would have to arrange for a completely different deal, which I really don't want to do. Four classes a quarter is working pretty nicely for me, even though the amount of time I have for homework is somewhat lacking this time around.

Also, if I take a break, I can get some more hours in the store and really build up my accounts again for a little while. Maybe set aside some cash for the NEXT round of school books stare I haven't even had the chance to buy any of this quarter's books. It could probably explain a few of the things that are seriously setting me back for weeks in classes, but I just don't know what the ******** I'm doing anymore.

I figure that, if I take on enough work hours while I'm on break, I can pay Cath for her rent fees and still build up a little profit on my own.

Not to mention the fact that I would really like to devote some time to Triptych. Just a few months for a break and I could really crank some things out for them, you know? So far, I've only been able to help with the website graphics, and even then, I think they need some work. It would help if the guys knew what exactly they wanted, so I've been trying to help them pick a color palette. There's been a good amount of dispute in that realm (everyone has different tastes rolleyes ). Still, if I could have more time to meet with them and work at the office, I think I could do MUCH better.

I'm going to offer my proposition to my mom and see how well she takes the idea. Just some more work hours and I'd be able to cover the main thing she's worried about.

I'm TIRED. I am incredibly tired! I NEED a break from all of this work. I'm starting to give myself headaches with my randomized sleeping schedule and I seem to be in a constant state of mild nausea. At this point, I would go as far as to say that I feel depression for the few days I am at school, panicking over the next assignment and barely scraping by. I only feel slightly at ease when I'm at home, and even then, I occasionally find myself waking up very suddenly in panic, remembering the next assignment that's due. I only used to do something like that back in high school when I was taking classes that sucked and I never gave a damn about, other than passing.

I do not find it a good sign that I'm starting to feel the same way with these courses. Some of them feel useless, some boring, etc... I'm used to running into those once every quarter, but the rest of them are challenging, necessary, and EXTREMELY homework driven. This quarter is becoming a battle where I might need to sacrifice one course in order to really get what I need out of another. But I can't AFFORD to take courses over again. I CAN'T. This place is too damn expensive. That's why I just need a BREAK. I need time to refuel and repair my mind and body so that I can really tackle the next round! GOD I AM SO TIRED!






User Comments: [6] [add]
majordanger_gundam
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commentCommented on: Wed Feb 25, 2009 @ 05:06am
Aww...Don't be depressed. Nobody likes a sad Sou. crying

I'm sure if you make a good case to your Mom she'll let you take the break. I think she only wants you to get school done with as fast as possible, but it isn't worth the rush to finish if classes are starting to pile up on top of each other.

On a completely different topic, have you told her about Triptych at all?


commentCommented on: Wed Feb 25, 2009 @ 05:26am
Oh yeah, she's very aware of Triptych, but I don't think she takes me seriously about it. She seems to think its all fun and games, or perhaps a phase of some sort. I did mention that I could get some work done for them, but she always seems to roll her eyes when I mention it.

My guess is that she doesn't trust Kyle. She probably thinks he's a bad influence on me or something similar. I've noticed over the years that she's pretty skeptic of just about any guy that moves through our house. She's always asking about Ian and Cath, so I imagine that she's been trying to get dirt on Kyle in some form or another.



Souzou the Insane
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majordanger_gundam
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commentCommented on: Wed Feb 25, 2009 @ 08:09pm
Well... I can kinda see why Carol thinks like that. sweatdrop

Cath's track record kinda speaks for itself. Very nice people, fun to hang out with, but not going anywhere anytime soon. Wow, that was really horrible of me to say.
sad And then there was that whole Jono thing with Lisa, which I don't even know what's going on there.

I've yet to meet Kyle (which I want do sometime), but from the sounds of it he seems like a cool guy. Tyler likes him which goes far in my book, and from the sounds of it he makes you happy which scores a ton of points.

I think that his job is awesome! Being a writer for a table top gaming company sounds like a totally sweet career in my own little geek fantasy world. blaugh Lucky b*****d! (Same with Ian, Lucky Comic Book Artist b*****d!!)

But that's why Carol might not approve. It might be unfair of her, but she probably see's some of Cath's Ex's in him.


commentCommented on: Thu Feb 26, 2009 @ 06:14pm
Unfortunately I'll have to second Major's opinion. If your mother sees a bit of the others in him, it may be why she's not excited about the situation. He met them a few times right? I'm not sure if there has ever been an extended period of time where they've just talked, but hey I'm not at your house 24/7 like most people think. Tyler has known him for a long time and out of all of Tyler's friends (excluding you in this Major because we all know you are great) Kyle is by far the most upstanding and intelligent of them all. Imagine if you had dated Justin or Jake ACK! That would of turned out very badly. So just be confident in him and surely seeing this, your mother may come around. ^_^



Junsui_87
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majordanger_gundam
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commentCommented on: Sat Feb 28, 2009 @ 08:41am
Jun is right.

Just give it some time. It took a a while for both Tim and Kev's girlfriends to be marked with the seal of approval, but soon enough they were pretty much part of the family, (They even got the Geriatrics Board Seal of Approval, which in our family is kinda like getting the Godfather's Blessing, if you know what I mean...And to make this statement even more Sterotypical Italian here are the following words: Bada-Bing! Bada-Boom!...ahem...where was I?) Like I said, just slowly introduce him to the fold of the household. It's not like your family is completely agains't him, right?

(PS Thank you, Jun!!!!! 3nodding . Tell Tyler he's awesome for me!!))


commentCommented on: Mon Mar 02, 2009 @ 02:18am
I get that, I just find my mom to be stubborn in this realm. I'm sure it's a multitude of reasons, but she's not the type to voice her concerns to my face. If she DOES have issues, she's going to talk about it to someone else. I know this, because everyone in my house doesn't seem to realize how observant I am. I may LOOK like I'm focused on the task they've given me as a distraction, but my hearing is still quite keen. I hear her discuss her worries about my tuition fees, Cath's relationship bumps, and Lisa's horseback struggles very often while at work. I may be out front and lose a few corners of conversation when I have to ring someone up, but I still hear enough.

I believe Cath and Lisa are aware of this as well, since we've all come to a mutual agreement to hide certain information from our mother at times. For instance, when Lisa had to get away from her school for a few days (counsellors told her there was no chance she could make it to a proper vet school since the coaches held her back for one event) she just drove up to the apartment, instead of the house, and cooled off. We all agreed not to tell mom, since she would probably be upset over the fact that Lisa didn't just come home, but Lisa also didn't want to hear a majority of mom reprimanding her and telling her just about everything she already knew. They had discussed the issue over the phone already and going home would have merely caused a great, winded, unnecessary extension of that topic.

Ah parents. You can have an adult relationship with them, but somewhere, deep down, they will still try to lead you around by the nose while you try to walk the path you want. But, meh. That's how the adult relationship develops. You separate from the 'WE' and become your own person. Once they come to that unfortunate realization that you are self-aware and have different goals and ideas, they will slowly begin to accept your official upgrade to adulthood. Age and status is one thing, but becoming your own person is probably the hardest thing for a parent to accept at first.

Luckily for me, I never really cared what they would think of me (which is probably why they seem to be alright with it). I've just been doing what I think is right and providing the best explanations to my actions as possible. Don't get me wrong, I still have a lot to do and I am very poor, but because I've been able to choose what I want very carefully, my parents are willing to support me until I can get on my feet. They may not like some of the things I do, but overall, I seem to be on the positive scale.

In short: She'll come around. I am certain of that. She's just bothering me at the moment, when I really don't have the energy to properly handle it.



Souzou the Insane
Community Member
User Comments: [6] [add]
 
 
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