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Undo the strings attaching me to myself
This journal doesn't follow a set thing. I write about whatever whenever. Want me to discuss something, send me a PM and I will write about it in here.
-Is it true?- (Fanfiction)
Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran High School Host Club


Could it be true? Could what I saw be really happening? Gently, my hands rubbed my eyes and I blinked a few times before looking again. No, this was really happening, and I knew I wasn’t dreaming. My dreams weren’t vivid enough to feel this real. The scene in front of me was true and with it my heart clenched in pain and rage. But what could I expect? He was the host’s president after and knew how to charm all the girls.

“Haru-chan, Tamaki-senpai has a girlfriend now.” Hunny whispered to me, but his voice was not as gleeful as it normally was. I looked down at him and he glanced at me in worry. I forced a smile on my face, though I knew he could see through my eyes. The pain was visible and deep, but I would do everything to hide it from my senpai.

“Is he happy?” I whispered back, my voice almost choking with heartbreak. I saw out of the corner of my eye that Hunny shrugged his shoulders in response. Suddenly, I felt eyes on me and looked up to see Mori standing on one side of Hunny looking at me. His eyes looked deeply concerned and with a silent question, I responded with a silent answer; the nod of my head. A breath was sucked in by me and then I walked over to my group and sat down.

“Hello, ladies.” I pushed all thoughts of Tamaki away from me and focused on the task at hand. Now all that was important to me in this club was paying my debt and running far away from it. And while I conversed with my customers, I couldn’t remember a word I had said or the topics brought up. And to be fully honest with myself, I didn’t care anymore. Now all that was important was my studies and law school. Nothing else would matter. I would never meet another man who could break my heart and I would focus on helping people in court.

As the ladies got up and left, Tamaki strode over to me, his hand latched with a very beautiful red-haired girl. I recognized her as one of his customers and apparently she had stolen his heart like I wished I could have…but I didn’t because all I was to him was a daughter; A small girl to protect from nasty boys by dressing her as one. They sat down on a couch across from me and smiled.

“Haruhi, I would like you to meet my new girlfriend, Sorani. She finally managed to catch my heart and make it flutter with every word.” I only listened for her name. It was a very pretty one and rolled off the tongue well, unlike my name that was faintly choppy. My name almost had a slight click to it, but that didn’t matter. I nodded my head and put on my best smile, closing my eyes so that my tears wouldn’t leak out.

“Well, as much as I’d like to stay, I have school work to be attending to, so I’ll be seeing you two later.” I coughed in the middle so that he wouldn’t hear the choking noise that almost showed. He went to get up but I hurried off before he could. If he was happy, then I’d let him be. I wouldn’t tell him about my feelings that I had finally admitted and I would let him enjoy his girlfriend. As soon as the doors shut behind me, I clutched my books and ran. I ran from the music room and ran from the pain.

I was outside and soon was speeding to my house. As soon as I was in my house, I slammed the door closed and ran into my room. I flung the door closed behind me and let out the tears and sobs. I knew my father was home and was waiting for him to check up on me but he never did.

Normal POV

“I was wondering when it would happen. Either she’d be happy or she’d be distraught after school…I’m surprised she’s crying now. I, her true father, wouldn’t have let this happen if I known otherwise. That damn rich b*****d of a boy.” Ranka growled to himself quietly, but the distraught father knew not what to do for his distraught daughter. He listened in pain as his young daughter’s brokenhearted sobs filled his household. It caused him heartbreak to listen to hers and he sat in anger, rage, and pain knowing he didn’t protect his daughter from her own heart.

Haruhi’s POV

As my sobs quieted, I sifted through things in my head. If I was going to cut off men, I needed to get my priorities straight. My studies and law school were at the top. My social life wasn’t really needed, so I could cross that off the list. Taking care of my father was second. Heavens knew what he would get himself into if I weren’t around. That was on my top priorities list. Maybe I didn’t need much in life anymore, and that would be fine with me when I fully got over him.

Pulling myself out of my bed and grabbing my books, I started on my homework with my goals in clear view. All my grades would need to continue to be top of the class. I would need to become valedictorian at Ouran High School and I would need recommendations from all my teachers to get into the best law school in Japan. Then, when I got into Law school I would be the best of my class and would graduate top of my class with the best scores and everything. And with making all that money, I would take my father with me to live in a lovelier home that was cozy and fit for two. Those were my new goals that I would stick to. Host club was just an obstacle in my way.

My homework was easy, as usual and finished it within fifteen minutes. I had no other homework besides Algebra 2 and Chemistry. Nothing else was needed to be done with school, so I got up from my chair and went out of my room to start dinner. That entire day no words were exchanged between my father and I. When I went to bed my eyes closed and my mind was prepared to face host club tomorrow.

~The next day, 8:00~

“Oh, forget it! I’m done with this crap!” It wasn’t normal for me to cuss but no one was around to hear so I didn’t care. I was done with host club and I didn’t want to wear that damn male outfit anymore. Of course I didn’t want to wear the frilly dress either but the hell I was going to follow the charade any longer. Grabbing the dress that the Tamaki had bought for me long ago, in case I changed my mind about Host Club, I swiftly put it on and slipped on my shoes. It felt odd to be in a dress but I hurried to school with a heartbeat going a million miles a second.

Some males from school saw me and gave me odd looks but I was ready to face the world and let them know that I was really a girl and not a guy. I needed to do this for the sake of my career. I’m sure that the top law schools wouldn’t want a full blown gender liar in their school and I probably wouldn’t get valedictorian for it either. With speed I didn’t know I possessed I was headed to the third music room. I was huffing and swung the door open to find Kyoya the only one in there at the moment.

“Kyoya, I quit host club!” I just about shouted to him. He looked over at me, about to retort, when his eyes went slightly wide and a smirk was placed on his face. It worried me, his smirk. With a slow ease, he got up from his chair and walked over to me.

“This will be perfect for Host Club. Guys will come in and pay and girls will come in for a best friend. This is just perfect. Thank you, Haruhi.” Kyoya began to type on his keyboard. I growled and bristled but said nothing. At least I didn’t have to cross dress any longer and I wouldn’t have to hit on females, not that it mattered now. Wait that was it. I didn’t want to be in it any longer. I wanted to swear off men.

“Kyoya,” My voice was just above a whisper as I spoke to him, “How much debt do I have left?” My voice almost cracked with emotion but I promised I wouldn’t do it anymore. There would be no room in my heart for men any longer. They didn’t matter.

Kyoya glanced at me from the corner of his eyes and sighed. The man with the glasses stood from his computer and closed it lightly. Without picking it up, he walked over to me. I glanced at him with worry but his eyes stayed closed. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder. It was a gentle touch, almost comforting, which was unusual for this man.

“Your debt will be paid off soon, Haruhi. I’ll let you know as soon as it is. You’ll owe nothing more, only less.” His voice was coated with an emotion of…pity, I supposed you could call it. I nodded my head slowly, knowing that he was sorry that I had to finish paying off my debt in such a fashion. “And with how many customers you’ll bring in with being a girl, you’ll be able to leave sooner.”

“Thank you, Kyoya-senpai, thank you.” Tears were close to falling but I bit my lip and held them back. I would miss them all when I left but I had to let them go. This wasn’t the place for me. I didn’t belong to the rich world, only the world of intelligence. It was better for them this way, anyways. If they could forget about me the sooner they would be able to get back to their own lives.

“How will we announce to the school that I am a woman?” I questioned a finger to my lip in thoughtful consideration. Knowing them, they would make a party and a big deal about it. Hopefully, though, with Kyoya’s new understanding he would keep it as subtle as possible. He was about to respond when we heard a door open.

We both turned to look at the door and saw the Twins coming in. They had their heads low, talking between themselves. I coughed so that they would know we were here and their heads snapped up. As soon as they caught sight of me, their eyes went wide with shock. Then they smirked, but I could see that sadness lurked in their faces.

“Haruhi,” Hikaru started, “Why do you look like a girl today?” Kaoru finished.

“She’s going to pay off her debt much faster this way. Girls will come in for a best friend and guys will come in for well…Haruhi.” Kyoya said. I laughed darkly and turned away from the group and stalked off toward the window. They didn’t need to know the humorless joke that ran through my head.

“Good Morning All who inhabit this beautiful earth!” Tamaki burst through the door, hand in hand with Sorani, and sparkles fell around them. I only glanced toward them and continued to look out the window. Then I pushed away from the glass and turned and sat at a desk to work on the day’s lesson in economics. I had looked on the computer to see what we would learn that day and started on it in the book.

“Oh, dear Haruhi, How are-Why are you in a dress?” His face was shocked and I just waited for Kyoya to answer him, which he did. The man’s sympathy was so resounding for him and I appreciated it greatly. I didn’t even have to look at Tamaki and his girlfriend. I knew I wasn’t over him yet, and of course it hurt to see him like that with another girl, but I knew time would create a wall to that emotion. I only wondering how long that time would take.

“So my dear daughter has decided to show her true feminine side for her father?” Tamaki asked while his girlfriend was shocked to find out I was a girl. I just nodded my head and said “Mmhm” to answer his question.

“I will throw a party to let the entire school know. You don’t mind, do you, daughter?” He asked me. I really just wished he would leave me alone. I shrugged my shoulders, not really caring anymore. Let him make a big deal about it. The quicker I got out of this club, the less I cared. He walked off to go collaborate with his manager. Sorani went and sat beside me.

“Haruhi-chan, are you alright?” She asked, her voice a magnificent soprano. No wonder Tamaki liked this girl, she was perfect for him. She could match his qualities well. I felt tears build up in my eyes but I brushed them away quickly.

“Yes, I’m fine.” My words were bitter and harsh but she didn’t jump at them. Apparently she liked consoling people and was used to angry emotions. “Well I’m here if you need to talk to someone.” She then headed over to her boyfriend. I glared at the desk with tears threatening to spill over.

I quietly closed my book and rose to leave the room before everyone could see my emotions. Hikaru saw me leave but I didn’t care. As soon as the door shut I ran to the gardens. I couldn’t take the pain anymore and I let the tears spill as soon as I knew no one was around to hear the sobs that followed. But I didn’t account that Hikaru seeing me leave would make him follow me. The footsteps were quiet and I felt his arms lifting me into his lap. He sat on a bench and cradled my shaking form.






User Comments: [1] [add]
paccume
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Mar 26, 2009 @ 03:05am
rofl rofl
i like the disclaimer


User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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