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Alright, alright. So, Kage and I were on the phone last night, but he wanted to get some rest before getting woken up by his dad later. He said he'd call me back, and asked when the latest he could call was. I said "I dunno, 2:30?" (in the AM). so he says he'll call, and we do the whole "Mwah, I love you" bit, and go off. Around midnight, I finally decide I'm too tired to go on, and go to sleep.

At 2:09AM, I get the call. All I remember is looking at the clock and seeing the time, and nothing else.

This morning, I looked at my call log, and saw that the convo with Kage had lasted 55 seconds. one minute, I think to myself. I wonder what I said to him, if anything coherent.

(Yes, I did actually think the word coherent. I like that word. I like incoherent more, though.)

So, it was picking at the back of mind all day. Just a few minutes ago, I was looking for my phone because I thought I heard it beeping, only to find I was sitting on it, and I ended up a**-speed-dialing Kage, which was the beep.

"Oh s**t, hello?!"

Kage seems confused about me calling, I tell him it was an accident and that I a**-dialed him. We chat for a few minute anyways.

"I know there was something I wanted to talk to you about, but I totally forgot..." I say. We talk a bit more, and right in the middle of our closing bit, I go "OH! I remember now!!"

"Yeah?"

"Well, you know how you called me at two last night?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, see, I woke up and saw my call log this morning, saw that the conversation lasted fifty-five seconds, and I was wondering if I said anything weird. If I said anything coherent in the first place."

"No, nothing weird. I asked you if you were already asleep and you said you fell asleep waiting for me."

"So nothing weird?"

"Well, it was more like '[insert gibberish and mumbling]sleep[mumble mutter]'."

"Hahaha. So I was incoherent."

"Yeah, and then...well, you said something at the end that was...kinda giving me mixed messages."

[Worried]"What did I say?"

"Well, you know how we do the whole 'I love you, love you too' thing at the end?"

[getting increasingly worried]"Yeah?"

"Well, you said...the thing is, you said..."

"What did I say?"

"You said 'I rub you.'"

I was cracking up. It was the most Epic bout of loling ever. FR SRS. I was laughing so ******** hard.

'I said 'I rub you'?!"

"Yeeeeah...it took me a minute to process. I was like 'I love you, too.' Then I hung up and went 'wait a minute, what?' and just stared at my phone for one long minute, and went '...well, whatever helps her sleep'."

[Time skip]

"Alright, seriously, I'll let you go now. *Mwah*"

"*Mwah*"

" I rub you. Kekeke."

"I rub you, too."

"You wish. You pervert. Okay, bye."

[Obviously smiling on the other end]"Bye."

My god. I rub you.

I am amazing when I talk while unconscious.