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I haven't
updated this journal since 2007.
I've changed a lot since. In 2007 I was so fake. I was so nice to everyone and calm and made a fake character that I thought people wanted to see. I thanked even the slightest donations of 1 gold with my utmost heart. There were so many generous things that people did though that made me so appreciative.
I started re-using this account as an active one this year and came to realise how bloody fake and stupid I was.
There are a lot of people that I wish I could've punched in reality back then haha. People used to b***h at me, but the fakeness kicked in and I acted like it WAS my fault.
Then, there were the truly lovely people. People that I didn't need to put a mask on for because I naturally wanted to be friendly and talkative around them. I honestly don't know if that turned them off in the end. And there's one person in particular who I had the best of times with on here, who sadly left. They were friends with my from when I joined with this account, and I'm happy to say that I appreciate what friendship they gave me.
I'm worried though. I understand people want their own lives and to get off virtual reality, but when a friendship is real, or so I still hope, it goes beyond just being the internet. You start to care, and worry. You laugh and enjoy your talks. I did. I did very much. I still wonder where this wonderful person went. They listened to me when I had problems and worries and I tried to listen as much back. I still do wonder. So very much.
This wonderful person, was nicknamed puppet. A wonderful kind, and sweet woman. I have to apologise to her, if she is ever reading this, that I was immature and teenagerish with my personality. I honestly don't know what has been happening in your life, but I want to say, whether personal things happened, or if it was just people of gaia including me that turned you off, I truly miss you. Although, I'm appalled at my behaviour because I have to truly admit that when I first met you all I wanted was items from you. I'm only human, and my greed was so much greater than my will for friendship which is what I needed at the time. But I grew further from the items and more to wanting friendship over time.
I've tried to grow up. So very much.
I just wanted to know, you were a wonderful friend. I know our time together didn't last a lifetime, and I didn't ever become the best absolute friend who knew everything about you because I hardly did, but I wanted to say that for whatever you may think of myself, you have been one of the kindest people I have met over the internet.
Thank you and I wish you luck.
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