me: "i give up".
ender:"no.... dont give up"
me: "why not?... there's no point...I can't change anyone... I can't be there for everyone..."
ender: "yes you can
its not easy you can change someone but it takes time and when you do you end up changing part of yourself *hugs* i'm sorry"
me:".........................................why are you sorry?"
ender: "you gave up on me...."
me: "no I'm not giving up on you, right now I'm looking for my confidence..."
ender: "i'm sorry"
me: "why are you sorry???"
ender: "because you will be dissapointed"
me:"...................................................... whatever it is just tell me, I'll deal with it later....."
ender: "no i'm saying i love the way you are and wont let you change unless you like it.... "
me: "................................................... if it makes you a positive person, then it's worth it."
ender: "oh.... listen to me i care about you don't get hurt"
me: "IT DOESN'T MATTER! DO YOU THINK MY LIFE IS GREAT!? I get... disappointed... often... long story... I rather hear the truth than lies..."
ender: "listen to me i care about you i love you like a sister and i want to make you happy"
me: "and I love you like a brother and I want to be there for you, no matter what."
ender "....then please sis dont let me be the next one to fail you"
me: "..............................................but... I don't want to fail you... I want to be there for you"
ender: "you wont fail me, just dont try hard ok?"
me: "... I feel like I should listen to you... but I want to know what is so horrible that you can't tell me?"
ender: " O_O....nothing its nothing"
me: "nothing? there's no such thing as nothing..."
I miss you James, and you didn't fail me...
you gave me courage because you didn't kill yourself...
you always told me to never be like you, but this time I'm inspired by you.
"I won't die because of suicide." I promise
- and I'll do my best to be there for everybody.
you reminded me that I'm a light.
and soon, I'll be the light out of someone's tunnel.
Aura and I miss you.
I still wonder what it was that you never told me... but I know that one day I'll figure it out... or maybe... I already know.
no matter what... you are still my big brother.
View User's Journal
where my all my posibilities are on a page
this "journal" is a place where i say things that can and can't have reasons. btw try not to compare me with anything in comments.
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