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In Soviet TCTNW
Title: In Soviet TCTNW, Earth Scorches You
Author: Trilies
Genre : Humor
Word length 1229
Sypnosis Axel really couldn't win against Lexaeus in some things.
Rating PG
Yaoi/Yuri/Pairings: Would be Axel/Lexaeus, except both parties are being quite the b***h. D:<


In Soviet TCTNW, Earth Scorches You


"So, you and Zexion have known each other for ages, huh?"

Half an hour. That's all Lexaeus asked for. In a place as large as the Castle That Never Was, one would think that would be an easy thing to accomplish. Kingdom Hearts knew that Zexion could hide away for entire weeks without being discovered, and Xemnas was simply so unpredictable and off in his own thoughts that finding him was nigh impossible when he got into the mood.

Yet every single time that Lexaeus attempted to gain perhaps only a few minutes of privacy, some time solving puzzles and going through the architectural plans from other worlds, some one interrupts him.

On certain days, it's Xigbar, gleefully inquiring if he wants to go to an odd world with creatures which drink blood and, ridiculously enough, sparkle.
When certain areas of the castle start smelling suspiciously like sulfur, Lexaeus doesn't even bother, since he knows that's when Vexen will want his assistance with another one of his experiments.
And then there's Larxene...

But today?
Today, it's Axel.

Patience has always been one of Lexaeus' virtues, however. (One of many, some of his colleagues would say, a certain Schemer particularly. ) He's also slow to anger, one of the reasons he charged with the new members at first. Even after he's gotten to know them...

Holding back a sigh, Lexaeus looks up from the Rubix cube in his hands, although he doesn't put it down. The library is normally a quiet place, save for the quiet skitterings of the Fallen as they endlessly categorize book after book. The silence even seems to swallow up Axel's normally loud and obtrusive presence as he leans against the doorway to the library, grinning in that way of his that grates on Vexen's nerves and delights Larxene to no end.

"Elaeus and Ienzo were both apprentices to the same man," Lexaeus answers simply, not explaining farther in that aspect. "It is not unusual for people to become close friends in the same field, especially when they live close to another and the field is limited." Why does he have the feeling that he isn't going to like where this conversation is going?

"Oh, I get that, alright." Axel shrugs, his movements almost liquid as he lazily makes his way over to the armchair that Lexaeus is sitting at. As his lips remain twisted into a mocking smile, Axel leans over him. "But isn't he a bit young for a close friend? You two look at least an entire decade apart..."

Subtle manipulation and dancing around the subject has always been Zexion's forte. Lexaeus simply stares up at Axel with a bored look on his face, rests his cheeks against his knuckles, and says bluntly, "You're implying I'm an ephebophile." At the small but hidden look of confusion Axel gives off, Lexaeus elaborates. "A person interested in teenage boys."

With that explained, Axel just shrugs and attempts to look innocent. It fails. Miserably. "Well, it's just a bit suspicious, right? I mean, and then things just start to get around, if you catch my drift... Rumors, the like."

He's been called a lot of things, particularly in his time as a Nobody, but never an ephebophile. Lexaeus would almost be amused, if he could. Instead, he simply shifts his hand slightly so that his fingers are tapping against his cheek in boredom. "Curious," is all he says.

Axel just laughs. "Well, you know how gossip goes-"

"I'm not talking about that," Lexaeus interrupts, and leans back in his chair comfortably. "I simply find it interesting that you are bringing up the subjects of Zexion's connection to me, despite the fact that he only looks 18 when he's mentally 28, and yet you, a man also in his twenties, is best friends with a mere 14 year old."

Axel sputters in protest.

"It's just bit suspicious, isn't it?" Lexaeus asks calmly, pulling off the 'innocent' act better than the redhead.

"I'M NOT A *****!" Axel yells, still leaning over Lexaeus and now with his face as red as his hair.

Casually, Lexaeus partially pushes himself up and out of his chair, so that he's smirking (the first Axel has ever seen) right into the other Nobody's face. "Ephebophile," he corrects. "And of course you're not, Axel." While Axel gawks at him in pure surprise, Lexaeus somehow manages to move around him while, at the same time, gathering up his puzzle. As calm and collected as always, Lexaeus begins to walk towards the library doors, his puzzle clicking once again.

Still burning red in the face, Axel snaps his jaw shut and whirls around, determined as he storms after Lexaeus. Oh, no one out-witted him! "Get back here!" he hisses, even as he swears to Kingdom Hearts the sonovabitch is chuckling at him. Motherfu- "You're not getting off so easy!"

As the sound of Lexaeus' heavy footsteps and Axel's ranting fade away in the hallway, the Library falls blissfully silent once again...

But that sort of thing can never last for long.

"Oh, Axel, you dumbass!" Roxas practically falls off of the top of the ridiculously high bookcase as he leans over the edge of it on his hands and knees, looking annoyed. "I can't believe he let himself get trapped like that!"

He almost buckles right onto his face as Larxene laughs and presses her hands against his back as she stares over him, grinning. "Oh, that was priceless! Who knew our big strong 'hero' had a bit of spunk in him?"

"I did, but you didn't believe me," Xigbar taunts in a sing-song voice, not bothering to join the little pile up as he simply ignores all the laws of gravity in favor of floating upside down above the entire group that's clustered on top of the bookshelf. A video camera is gripped in one hand while his other holds his crossed together ankles together while he grins. "Jeez, this is freakin' awesome. I love having you kids here."

"And who exactly is a kid-?" Marluxia already starts, narrowing his eyes in annoyance as Demyx grins nervously and prepares himself for another round of 'Referee Demyx: keeping the peace!'. However, two different voices interrupt them all by saying one word, simultaneously:

"Ah-hem."

They all pause, and slowly turn to the two figures that sit at the edge of another bookshelf entirely, looking all too smug. Zexion holds his hand out expectantly. "I believe we had a bet?" he points out, smirking.

There's a collective groan from the Bookshelf Island of "Axel was totally going to win this round because he's a clever little s**t", but Luxord only holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm a fair man," he says smoothly, and procures a small pouch from his coat. "I'll accept my losses gracefully." He then tosses the munny pouch to Vexen, who grins victoriously.

While Roxas grumbles about losing his sea-salt ice cream munny, Xigbar and Xaldin just toss their losses without much complaint, having not expected to really win either way. (The show was worth the fee, anyway. ) Marluxia makes a big show of giving up his own part of the bet, and eventually throws it to Zexion.

Larxene is the final person to give up her munny, but she delays it for a while, twirling the little pouch from its string around her finger as she stares at the Library doors thoughtfully. At last, she turns to the others with a smirk, the pouch still going round and round.

"So, who's up for round two?"





 
 
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