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its funny how u dont no wat u have till its gone. u keep saying that u wont miss that person or thing, but when u try not to think about it sticks in ur mind. its because u have grown to that person or thing, and u can never really let go. ive been taught not to dwell on the past and not to look into the future, but to live in the present. its human nature to think but sometimes that doesnt help u in any way, it just puts more pain on u. i have found my place in life and that is to try and make people happy, sometimes i do and other times i dont. im also here to protect my friends, and im willing to die for my cause in life. my family is being torn apart and i cant do anything to stop it from happening. in my mind im telling myself that it can only make me stronger as a person, but i no that it wont. it will destroy me from the inside and haunt me for the rest of my life. ive promised to only change for the better, but somethings just cant be stopped.