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[[~ Jessica As Always ~]] This journal is just stuff out of my head, things that stand out to me, and things that I believe in/ against. So read it if you want, don't if you don't.

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An English essay gone RIGHT!
This was a paper that I wrote for my advanced English class... I really like it heart ... tell me what you think, please!


A few months ago, the government was experimenting with a new drug. It was supposed to be inhaled, like an asthma treatment, but it was for lung cancer. Something went wrong, no one is sure what. But it became lethal. Half of the population of this small town was dead. And I was soon to be one of them. I could feel my heart speed up in my chest, and thud in my ears. That was the final stage. The inhumanly quick heartbeat. I laid down and closed my eyes. My head hurt. It was probably the racing pulse through my jugular, but I couldn’t be sure. I could feel my limbs become weightless and my torso shrink. It was changing me. I grasped at my abdomen and shuddered as I felt that it was rock hard. I let out a piercing shriek and called for James: I wanted my Guardian Angel. If I was going to die, I wanted him here. I yelled for him, over and over. It seemed like an eternity before the light filled the room. His coal black hair fell over his electric blue eyes, which complemented his porcelain complexion and strikingly angular features. His body was slim and muscular. His torso was covered in a plain white shirt, and his lower half in dark wash jeans with a few holes, and as always, it surprised me that he didn’t have wings. His face was stricken with a pained expression as I screeched, “Help me, please! Make it STOP! MAKE IT STOP, PLEASE JAMES, MAKE IT STOP!”
He stroked my hair, and whispered softly, “Hush Blair. Yelling isn’t helping. Calm down.” I choked on my own words as he pressed his hand to my temple.
“James. Help. Me,” I said in between gasps. The horrid pain was making its way down to my feet. I didn’t want this. I didn’t want it.
“I can’t, Blair. I’m sorry. I’m sorry…” his tears choked off his apologies, coming one after the other. They landed on my comforter on the bed. My middle arched, and I screamed in agony. It burned. It was killing me from the inside out, and there was nothing he could do? I wanted to die. It would be better than this. I would take death a thousand times, and love it rather than deal with this. I would die. And I knew it.
“JJJAAMMEESS! SAVE ME! HELP ME!” I tried to fix my contorted figure, but my back wouldn’t relax. My muscles were locked, and my vision was fuzzy like snow on a television. My breath hurt my throat as I sucked it down rapidly. I coughed a few times, and everything went black.


I shook her again and again, trying to rekindle the fire in the soul I loved so much. A few times I felt her heart sputter, but I couldn’t be sure. Her light brown hair spread out on the pillow, and her formerly green eyes were still open, looking but seeing nothing. I shook her more violently now, my quiet sobs already making small quakes in the fabric of the blanket. No response. I let out a cry of desperation. I had to save her, I had to. There was no other option. This girl would live. I wiped my tears on the palm of my hand, and held hers. I felt something bubble under the skin. Pulling my hand back in horror, I saw that the flesh on her tiny wrist was sparkling, like a crystal in the light. It shimmered for a minute, then quit. And then it hit me. An angel would die if their human anchor no longer tied them to earth. I was still there. There was still hope.
It was said that an angel could save a human with a part of him or her self. Many had given blood, and even limbs before. Of course, I would be willing to do this. But had anyone ever tried a teardrop?
I didn’t have to try to cry. It just happened. I wondered how many it would take? I would cry a million tears for Blair. A million. My face was directly over hers now. I blinked, and several teardrops fell. They landed on her parted lips, fading white as the blood ran out of them. Her bosom started to slightly move up and down, and she shuddered, as if shaking off the cool fingers of death. I smiled and sobbed happily as her eyes fluttered open and shut for a moment. And then I realized, she wasn’t Blair anymore.


My eyes flickered open. I blinked several times. Nothing was… the same. My body felt powerful, as if inside of this tiny being was an internal body builder, waiting to smash the next thing that came along. I was careful as I sat up. James was sitting by my bedside, wide eyed and unsmiling. I looked down, and noticed his hand on mine. I smiled at him and he half-smirked at me. I wondered what was wrong? I felt fine. Jumping out of bed, I looked down at my body. And screamed.
My skin was pale-white. No longer the summer tan which had glazed over my flesh. My stomach felt rock hard. I pulled the thin material of my tank top out of the way, I saw the abdominal muscles flex and retract as I exerted them. I could no longer feel the phantom virus in my blood, or the think air in my lungs. And then, I spoke.
“James. What is wrong with me? Am I… am I dead?” I choked out.
“You no longer have a heartbeat. You are, Blair, certifiably dead. Yet you walk. You talk, but you do not breathe. You think as a human, but something inside of you is wrong. May I?” he offered his hand. We had done this before. I pressed it to my forehead and he closed his eyes. I could feel the probing tentacles of his mind brush over my thoughts, like a mental-tickle. I squirmed uneasily. “No! NO!” he yelled, and I screamed at him.
“WHAT? WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!” I clutched my head as I hollered, and shook it violently.
“Blair.” He was recomposing himself, yet he spoke through his teeth. “You only have three days to live. Then, that man-made virus will take over your body. The strength you feel is only an illusion. To keep you going until… until…” he broke into sobs as I held him. His face pressed against my collar bone, the tears making small wet spots on my shirt. I didn’t think he knew… I couldn’t be sure. He had read my mind countless times, skimming over my motives, my secrets, my utter most fears, but I had tried to protect that single piece of knowledge. How would I tell James the one thing that I had kept from him? That the Angels had too, if only to protect him? Did he not have a right to know?
How would I tell him that when a Guardian Angel’s human dies the angel must die too?
I let a single tear slip down my cheek. “James. I only want one day. Can you make it so? This is my last wish for you. Please?” He looked at me in disgust, in unbelief. He would never understand why. He didn’t need to.
“I cannot refuse you, Blair. You know that. So I will have to.” He closed his eyes and touched my head. I could feel him again. The agony of losing a best friend was thick in his brain. The feeling of helplessness as he watched me die. I caught myself, and I tried not to pry. “The deed is done. You have exactly twenty three hours, fifty-eight minutes, and forty-two seconds to live. What do you want to do?”
“Nothing. Nothing at all. Mom and dad are dead. Jay Lynn is gone. I miss my baby sister. That girl was my world. All I want to do is act like it is a normal day. Okay? So what do you want for dinner? Tacos?”
“Um… sure. I guess.” He stuttered as we stumbled into the kitchen. Then, my heart began to hurt. Not in an emotional way either.
“Uught…uught…” I doubled over in pain, it striking me fiercely. And then I knew I was going to die, because James hit the floor too. James had told me- Angels never felt pain.
He didn’t give me twenty four hours. He had given me twenty four minutes. And my death would be just as painful, if not more, as the first time. I could feel that toxic venom of that deadly virus hit my bosom.
I gasped and clutched at my chest, trying to rip the hot coal that was now my heart. It hurt. Oh, gosh it hurt. I clawed at the skin as James screamed my name. Again and again.
“Blair! Come HERE! I CAN SAVE YOU! Come… come…” I heard a gurgling sound and I knew what was happening. He was choking. He was choking on the virus that had already killed me once, and was sure to do it again. I lay down on the hard, tile floor and waited to die. My throat closed and I didn't struggle. I just wanted it to be over.

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