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i hate myself again....and the erge to cut once more is very strong.
i keep tellling myself that everything will be ok....that everyone makes mistakes....but i cant help but juge myself harshly on my actions....im a fool to think that love is right for me....i want to give up....and end.... everything......just sink into my old ways....and not give a d a m n anymore.....i realise that i will never succeed in my life...that all my goals are s h i t....and i'll never acheive them......i wonder why do i continue to live....when i deserve to die..... theres nothing for me in this world....nothing but the pain and sorrow i feel....and the pain and sorrow i inflict on other people...it seems as if im filled with bad luck...... and it rubs off on other people.....im hurting so bad......and cutting will be my relese once again.....if i cut to deep....its just my bad luck showing....im sorry to everyone thats hating me in this moment of time.......i never ment to hurt......or cause sorrow....but sadly i realize its all that i know......and noone can love a barren shell like me......and i know that the scorching flames of hell will embrase me....i only ask for God to see past my unforgiving ways......