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Ive come to a point where i relize that there's alot of things i shouldn't have done and now i know what i need to do. the hardest part about love is there's so many more ways then one to love someone and thats when you have to relize if the way you love some one is a healthy love or and obcessed love. When with someone you tend to become blind and unfocused and this causes you to forget what really matters when it all comes down to it. Every now and then i think its a positive direction to think over your relationship to make sure your intentions and feelings are as pure and healthy as they were when the relationship started. Sometimes we get so used to having someone around that the fear of being alone again makes us turn and run back to the safety of the relationship regaurdless of the situation the relationship is.

There's no doubt that you should be most greatful for what you have but sometimes what you have must be something left behind for your own well being and future. As you have probably well guessed by now that the reason im writing (or rather typing) this jounal, blog or what ever; is because ive come to a forked road in my relationship. When you are very aware of the way you feel about your self and the relationship and you feel that you, as a person and as an indivdual are slowly starting to slip away this means that you need to think very hard about where to go from here and to go in a better direction. like its always been said too much of a good thing can lead to be a very bad thing in the end. The days where my boyfriend will be shipped off to bootcamp are drawing closer and closer. I find it hard to go on without knowing if he's okay. and even selfishly thinking if he still cares for me? this might just be my mind thinking but when the burdens are to heavy to bear then there's no place to hide any more.

-Lock