I've been lying for hours, trying to fall asleep...my mind's been focused only on thoughts of you and your love, and us being together... the most peaceful, loving fantasies of us, and yet still no rest comes to me. I'm nearly asleep sitting at my computer, yet I cannot fall unconscious...
My heart aches from being apart from you, throbs from the pain I know I've caused and for mistakes I've made, and my mind is swarmed with pained thoughts and senseless, paranoiac fear. It's becoming worse and worse the longer we're away from each other. You're my life, without you I cannot survive, for without you I've not love, I've not pride, and I've not Reason nor fright.
The longing inside me is overwhelming me, devouring me.. I'm being sucked into a void of nothingness, and you're the only one who can pull me out. I feel like I can't survive another sun without seeing your beautiful face and holding you in my arms so delicately and lovingly, and gazing into your eyes and becoming entranced in their magnificence... I feel like right now I could run all the way to you, without once stopping, for my love is that strong. Alas, my conscious allows me not such an act... though deep inside somewhere I wish I could. I want so badly to walk out my door and run, and just keep running, until I get to you, and collapse into your arms and finally rest in peace for the night--which now is nearing morning, for as I peer out my window, light protrudes from between the trees.
The walls around me feel like bars on this cage I'm trapped in.. the cage that confines me to my own mind and my own home, to prevent me from wreaking havoc outside in my desperate longing to be with you. I feel claustrophobic within my own mind, unable to express all the thoughts and feelings held deep inside... oh, how I long to hold you tight, to fall asleep in your arms and look over in the morning to find you sleeping to me to, kiss you with all my love, and to spend all my time with you to our hearts' content...
It hurts so, to be away from you... the next day we're together will forever 'till linger in my heart as a burning hope, my deepest desire...
For I love you, with everything I have and will ever be.
And nothing can change that....
heart Ily, Tori. heart
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Meh Journal... read if you like.
I usually post bits and pieces of my work as a writer. Check it out if you're interested. Occasionally I'll input some stuff about what's going on with my life or ask for inspiration or encouragement, so look for that too!
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