Here is the nicer letter that I actually sent:
Don't think that my anger has anything to do with J. You are removing the guilt from yourself and placing it on her. This is really one of the biggest reasons why I am still angry with you- you won't acknowledge that you've done anything wrong. In reality J has been the only reason I have been willing to talk with you again. She is the one who is always championing your side and asking me how I would feel if you were to die tomorrow. She is your best chance at being able to speak with me- and you bad mouthing her this way will not help you.
You don't want to play games? Then what is this about? I've talked with you as much as I feel comfortable. I've told you that I am currently working two jobs and don't have time to sit down and write whenever you want me to. I've tried before to be careful in my responses to your messages (waiting to write, watching my words) and looking back I felt like we were really making progress. This message shows you haven't changed and that it is only a matter of time before you send another just like it- and I am again tossed into the emotional torrent that comes from having you in my life.
If you really want to try and repair any semblance of a relationship with me, then you need to do this on my terms. You don't get to call the shots anymore. You lost that right the day you didn't bother to show up at my wedding (or call me or send a card, or anything for more than two years after it happened). I have long since given up the idea that you are suddenly going to become the mother I have always wanted. You need to do the same for me.
-B*
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