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Want some help with relationships? Require assistance with coming out to your parents? Is there a question that you can't ask your parents and/or friends but need answered? Message me a question, and I'll give you the best advice I can.
Today's Topic: Your Relationship
A relationship is no laughing matter. It is not for the faint of heart, or those who are unwilling to make a serious commitment to another person.

However, this person also has to be willing to make a commitment to YOU. Now, I am by no means saying that you're supposed to see each other every day; this is how people get bored. This is how mothers and fathers start having problems. My dad and my stepmom are separating, NOT GETTING DIVORCED, for this reason. What I mean by a commitment is that you and your partner are willing to be faithful to each other. If you cheat, lie, steal, anything like that, this is not being faithful. This is being a pompous p***k that deserves nothing more than a common street-walker.

I'm going to say this right now: if your significant other is in any way being abusive (verbally, sexually, physically, emotionally) other than the time you KNOW he/she is messing around (my boyfriend and I playfully insult each other, because we both know whatever we're saying is not true about each other), you need to end that relationship AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. There is no factor of "Oh, I can change him/her." involved. THEY ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. It's like someone who cheats on you: once a cheater, always a cheater. That temptation will always be there, and it's always so hard to resist. YOU SHOULD NOT TOLERATE SOMEONE HURTING YOU BECAUSE THEY ARE SUPPORTING YOU, YOU HAD A CHILD WITH THEM, ETC. I do not CARE if you are married, or if your parents are going to disown you if you break up with or divorce them. THIS IS YOUR BODY. THIS IS YOUR MIND. THIS IS YOUR SAFETY ON THE LINE. Which is worse: your parents being angry at you, or showing up to work with massive amounts of makeup on because your man beat you; or worse, being dead?

There are many people I know who think having a friends-with-benefits relationship is okay. Hell, I think it's okay. However, if you're in a serious relationship already, THIS IS A BIG-a** NO-NO UNLESS YOUR PARTNER IS OKAY WITH IT. You're dating your honey for a reason, right? Isn't that the entire point of being in a relationship? Why would you spoil that to mess around with a friend?

If you feel something is wrong, the best thing to do is to simply ask if there's anything wrong. There's not a trick to it. You simply say "Honey, is something wrong?" and then they answer. If there is something wrong, you try to fix it. If not, QUIT WORRYING! If there's something your love doesn't want to tell you, then that's that. Don't prod, it will make them feel squished and will upset them more.

Everyone needs space now and again. If you need it, just say "Hey, I'm going through some tough times, and I need a little space. I am NOT saying we should break up, but I just need some time to think. I do still want to see you, and hang out with you, but just not as much as we usually do. I love you, okay? Don't worry, I'll be fine."

"We need to talk." Does not necessarily mean that your love wants to break up. While that has been the case for me a few times, do not get your panties in a bunch right away. The time to be upset is AFTER the talk.

Can't think of anything else at the moment. If I do, I'll post it. If I have not answered a question you have, message me.





Quizzicality
Community Member
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  • User Comments: [1]
    GrandpaJones
    Community Member





    Sat Sep 26, 2009 @ 02:10pm


    I hope everyone reads these....hugs


    User Comments: [1]
     
     
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