You know....its funny how life works...
You find the one guy, or girl for you guys, that you know your meant to be with for the rest of your life and yet hes 1000's of miles away...
And you know it'll be a little while before you can finally be with the one you love..
But while your waiting of course your biggest fear is that they find someone they like and that they see everyday...
And your afraid your going to lose them....
Though they tell you it won't ever happen cause they love you...you just have this fear that won't go away...
And every time you think about it...it makes you depressive...
Being depressive, makes you break a lot of promises.....
Or, that's how it is for me...
I know he loves me so very much..And I believe him 100%
But what heart ache I've gone through in the past just makes me fear that he could find another girl to love....
I know he tells me he won't and I believe him...but the thought still won't go away...
I guess I'm just uberly paranoid...
And hes right...peoples relationship dies because you sit there and find something wrong with it...
I know its perfect...I do...
So maybe I should just stop thinking about it...
I know its just me thinking about it waaaay to much...
Thinking that I really don't deserve him at all...
And that he is waay better off without me...
And I know all of this is true....I'm not the best in the world for him...
But I can't let him go!
No matter what, I think about it all the time...
Asking myself what would I do if we did ever break up...
And of course each time leads me to tears...
Even in school it happens....
And I know I love him because of this.
But I don't just love him..im in love with him.
But who wouldn't be?
He is amazing and awesome and wonderful and such a dork. And hes smart and talented and is just sooo loving and honest and open about everything.
And I want to spend every waking minute with him.
I want to wake up next to him in the morning and gently wake him up.
I want to make him breakfast(Though I'm not the best cook so it end up being toast and cereal)
I want to marry him and have his babies..
I want to see the look in his eyes when he see's his little boy and little girl for the first time ever.
I want to go grocery shopping with him and go to the park with him and our kids watching them play together.
I want to send my kids to school knowing that they are going to grow up smart like him..like their daddy...
I want to eat with him and watch movies and cuddle and kiss him all the time.
I want to fall sleep beside him in bed and cuddle into him and dream of the day all over again.
Because being with him just makes me feel so....happy and in love and so....theres no words to even describe it.
And I don't even care that I'm going on and on about him because I love talking about him.
I love thinking about how much I love him and how much he loves me.
It makes me smile when I wake up at 5:30am.
The only reason I get out of bed to go to school and try my best to get a 3.8 gpa is because I want to be with him.
All I want is him.
And I know I sound crazy and all but its true...
I'm am utterly, helplessly, crazily, head over heels in love with J.J.
And there's nothing anyone can say or do to make that change.
I love you J.J <3
♥ heart ♥ heart ♥
You find the one guy, or girl for you guys, that you know your meant to be with for the rest of your life and yet hes 1000's of miles away...
And you know it'll be a little while before you can finally be with the one you love..
But while your waiting of course your biggest fear is that they find someone they like and that they see everyday...
And your afraid your going to lose them....
Though they tell you it won't ever happen cause they love you...you just have this fear that won't go away...
And every time you think about it...it makes you depressive...
Being depressive, makes you break a lot of promises.....
Or, that's how it is for me...
I know he loves me so very much..And I believe him 100%
But what heart ache I've gone through in the past just makes me fear that he could find another girl to love....
I know he tells me he won't and I believe him...but the thought still won't go away...
I guess I'm just uberly paranoid...
And hes right...peoples relationship dies because you sit there and find something wrong with it...
I know its perfect...I do...
So maybe I should just stop thinking about it...
I know its just me thinking about it waaaay to much...
Thinking that I really don't deserve him at all...
And that he is waay better off without me...
And I know all of this is true....I'm not the best in the world for him...
But I can't let him go!
No matter what, I think about it all the time...
Asking myself what would I do if we did ever break up...
And of course each time leads me to tears...
Even in school it happens....
And I know I love him because of this.
But I don't just love him..im in love with him.
But who wouldn't be?
He is amazing and awesome and wonderful and such a dork. And hes smart and talented and is just sooo loving and honest and open about everything.
And I want to spend every waking minute with him.
I want to wake up next to him in the morning and gently wake him up.
I want to make him breakfast(Though I'm not the best cook so it end up being toast and cereal)
I want to marry him and have his babies..
I want to see the look in his eyes when he see's his little boy and little girl for the first time ever.
I want to go grocery shopping with him and go to the park with him and our kids watching them play together.
I want to send my kids to school knowing that they are going to grow up smart like him..like their daddy...
I want to eat with him and watch movies and cuddle and kiss him all the time.
I want to fall sleep beside him in bed and cuddle into him and dream of the day all over again.
Because being with him just makes me feel so....happy and in love and so....theres no words to even describe it.
And I don't even care that I'm going on and on about him because I love talking about him.
I love thinking about how much I love him and how much he loves me.
It makes me smile when I wake up at 5:30am.
The only reason I get out of bed to go to school and try my best to get a 3.8 gpa is because I want to be with him.
All I want is him.
And I know I sound crazy and all but its true...
I'm am utterly, helplessly, crazily, head over heels in love with J.J.
And there's nothing anyone can say or do to make that change.
I love you J.J <3
♥ heart ♥ heart ♥
