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Friends will be Friends
A few days ago I ran into this person on zOMG and in opposite to my usual behavior of only talking to others to make fun of them, I started a conversation with him, since he had addressed me.
It was fun talking and the more we talked the more there seemed to be a connection; we found out that more and more things we had in common. We even phoned, send SMS and exchanged very private episodes of our pasts, which we wouldn't tell out other friends. So even tho I just got to know this person a few days ago, more and more I started to see a best friend in him and he also told me the same.
Goofing around and cuddling, showing affection to make each other feel good, the typical best friend situation.
Then out of a sudden 3 days ago everything changed.
The person who seemed to be so close and so much like me, turned into someone very cold and distant, blaming things from his past, leaving a big gap in me.
Now in fact, this has happened to me a few times before already, just like to so many other people, and yet I am asking myself:
How come people let others get this close (online and in real life) even tho they made more or less painful experiences, may it be from failed loves or failed friendships?
And if we can't prevent it, then how come that it still hurts so much losing someone who seemed to be close to us, even tho we just knew the person for a few days or weeks?
Isn't that silly and shouldn't we have built up some sort of shield, or shouldn't the experiences we gained over time, prevent us from feeling hurt when one person decides to drop out of your life or change the way of behavior towards us?
How come that people who seemed to care for us suddenly turn around 360° tossing away all the good times they shared with us?
Out of pure selfishness and fear of getting hurt, they prefer hurting the people they once cared for?
Why don't they take the hand we reach out to them to help them get over what made them afraid?
Or was it all just a face to begin with and it was all just some sort of cruel game?
I refuse to believe that since I am (and also all others with similar experiences) pretty good in telling what people are like, exactly because of all those experiences that were made before.
Shouldn't it be us acting like that instead of those people once close to us?
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Sashimi
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Community Member
Good friends , inseperateable. Until one day, a little dispute, and BANG something clashes. And before you know it, all you read or hear from the person is hurtful things.
I think at this time, we learn to put up a guard, and not be too trusting of others. At least not to an 100%. Only person you can ever trust is yourself, as odd as it sounds.
We will have very good friends in life, but we never know what to expect one day. Its like that saying "Being stabbed in the back".
I guess the only evidence of knowing who is true, is seeing REAL devotion. Like:
-Who respects you the most?
-Have you ever fought?
-Does this person, think badly of you when things go wrong?
-Are they mature?
-Have they ever slipped up, with you?
If they have good scores on those things, then its a safe sign that you definitely want to keep this friend.
I only have two best friends online, and they are like family to me.