It wasn't all bad, I don't know if you feel the same I hoped you would. I hope there was something you could look back to and smile about or find some comfort in. I loved you, I love you, even when I was pissed at you and us I loved you. Maybe that's what made me so stupid, because I never screwed up when me and Elena had a little thing. It was barely anything I didn't love her, and I think she knew. I think she knew that when we were together I wasn't thinking of her. It's stupid I can tell her I care about her when I couldn't to you.
I called for her when I heard that bang. God I felt /sick/, I know you didn't see me ill that one time we fought and you left but I felt that bad. I called for /her/ and s**t it's because I felt...if I called for you it'd be real. You'd be hurt and I couldn't admit it. She looked so hurt and I couldn't look, I couldn't look to you when I knew you'd be worse. I should have and I should have tried I don't know, I should have gone to you. I felt like everything I had ever done blew up with you and I don't know anymore.
Chloe had a change of heart, how ******** typical at the worst time she would. /Now/ she wanted to save someone. To go out of her way to make sure Elena was okay. I don't think she wanted me to check on you either. I wasn't....I couldn't believe you'd be /gone/. Elena's in pain and Chloe is calling to me talking to me about Lazarevic and how he's gonna try and /take over the world/. My world was changed then, can't she see it? She didn't care before I can't believe her. Can't believe this. It can't be real.
I'm hoping (I choke when I realize I'm hoping this) if your gone...when it happened it was quick. Maybe-and this was me really hoping-maybe you could have remembered the good things? The times we worked together when there was that honor among thieves. When things weren't so tense, there were those times. When I saw you again I felt it. We both wanted that, we wanted those times again.
I hope you could remember.
 Zi Kimizuru · Fri Jan 01, 2010 @ 09:11pm · 0 Comments |
