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Diary Of A Hopless Romantic
Read What I Write, Feel What Your Heart Tells You To, But Dont Forget This Is How I Live.
Forget Me Not Darling

I knew a Girl She was so young, so full of dreams, so ready for love. She met a Boy who’s words were like the waves in came the tides and She was swept away. I knew a Boy He was so young, so full of life so ready for lust. He met a Girl who’s eyes were filled with pride, He said the words that were sure to open up her mind.

He spoke to Her with His hypnotizing eyes and a voice no women could resist. He treated Her like the most fragile of flowers. His heart wanted Her but He only knew a pretty face while She only knew pure love. What a beautiful face She had. She was dazzled by His eyes and wanted to take care of Him for the rest of Her life. To Him She was just another pretty face just another piece on His chess board. Just another sick game even though He knew all that was true He continued to use Her until another pretty face walked by and He was waiting for the day that one did.

She was loyal to Him She’d do anything to please Him even sell Her soul to the Devil if She had to. She was falling for Him. Where will She go when She falls? As if She was lost at sea and He was the waves, the tides, the currents, everything that could drag Her farther out into the deadly deep blue sea which the sailors adore so much. She went willingly but blindly. What will She do when She falls? Will He save Her or so easily let Her slip away?

Her eyes shined brighter than the sun and His were more sinister than the dark side of the moon. They were so young and so foolish, She was so oblivious to the things going on around Her because She had been so blindly wanting Him. She did anything He asked and He was perfectly fine with that that’s what He had been wanting from this Girl. Nothing more nothing less. He just wanted to use Her. The pain in Her heart was falsely healing from the recent tragedy of loosing Her father. Yet He felt no shame, no regret in what He had been doing. He felt nothing for this Girl but lust. This pawn.

February 18th He met a Girl who’s eyes were as bright as the sunset floating through the almost blackened sky. Her figure fit to his perfectly when He held Her up against him and He was drawn to Her, not just Her appearance, everything about Her He loved. Fallen head over heels in love with this mistress. He couldn’t help but want Her. Resisting wasn’t an option. Now He was being dragged out to sea.

Lips like roses, wilted flowers at Her toes, Her skin of the moon. Perfection in His eyes. A smile that pulled relentlessly at His soul. She took Him in Her arms and He could not resists this new girl He so easily had fallen in love with. She was beginning to become like a drug to Him, ecstasy was what She was to Him. An over dose of ecstasy.

He dropped the Girl who’s eyes were filled with pride. Her heart sank into the sea, She began to feel the stiff sickening feeling of loneliness surrounding Her being as He walked away with the beautiful Goddess of Darkness. She watched Him walking, smirking, She watched as His light nature started to become tainted by the Goddess of Darkness power that She so strongly had over Him.

Everyday was just another day of pure bliss for Him yet for the Girl He had left behind everyday was like walking into the endless ocean, drowning at sea. Sinking so far below the surface. Crying until Her eyes ached and She started to loose Her breath, Her heart was slowing, oh how She wanted him back. She didn’t know how to trust anyone anymore. She broke down unable to focus on the things She once loved. Her passions began to die and the reasons began to change and so the seasons. The air was kind when He wasn’t on her mind, when He was the winds were violent and unforgiving. She became lost, disoriented and deranged. A break up it might have been but She was so young and foolish and had given Him Her whole heart, He had destroyed the fragile flower which She believed He had loved so much. She started to realize She was only a pawn in the masters sick game.

He was happy, content with life, everything was going perfectly for Him, He was in love He was completely blinded by everything else around Him but Her, the object of His desires, She was becoming more than just a pretty face, much more than that and She started to think of Him the same way. She began loving Him. There hearts started to come closer together, there bonds becoming stronger and He never thought of the Girl with prideful eyes ever again, He even started to forget this Girl as if She had never existed.

She was falling apart, shattering into pieces of broken glass yet she claimed everything was fine. What a lie a magnificent lie. She was like a lost kitten in the rain with no home or anyone to love Her. She had much on Her mind and She just wanted it to end. She wanted time to stop. She wanted to die but She knew She couldn’t hurt her family and friends like that. That would be too much. Or would it? She began to live life morbidly and everything She looked at began to fill Her thoughts with depression, with death. “These Pearls Would Make Quite A Good Tourniquet” She was beginning to think of different ways to end her life but She knew herself all too well, only in her dreams would She be able to force Her own hand upon Herself. She began thinking more and more each day of the subject. All of Her troubles, Her pains were steaming from the roots of Her sick mind. Happiness for this Girl who was once so prideful and full of life started getting farther and farther away with every step She had taken. Who would think a break up would have such an affect on the mind of one so young?

“They Wont Call It Suicide If I Carve The Killers Name So Deeply Into My Veins. No They Wont Call It Homicide For His Name Will Be Engraved Into The Pale White Skin Of My Impure Flesh!” She laughed at the idea but made Herself forget that deranged idea that had flowed through Her mind when She saw Her little sister run up to Her with the most innocent eyes holding her arms out to her big sister so She would pick her up and pull her into security. She picked up Her darling sister and rocked the sweet 3 year old to sleep in Her arms and forgot the morbid thought She had wanted to pursue.

He had gotten older and so had She but He had so much to look forward to so much ahead of Him while She had nothing. He had proposed to the Goddess of Darkness He had fallen for. She had accepted. He had been thrilled and they had been progressing further into their relationship. They had been growing closer and they had felt as if nothing could tare them apart. Whole heartedly in love they were. The old Girls face had completely faded from His memory.

She blamed Herself for loosing Him, she blamed Herself for not holding, She spends Her life going back in Her mind to the time. The time She was able to smile. She had wished that She could stop time just long enough to cure Her insanity of Him. She started to reject everything about reality. She started to fall deeper into the darkness of the sea and there was no hope for Her returning to the surface. A continuous nightmare, awake or asleep, it was all the same morbid insanity banging around in Her skull wishing She could crack Her head open and released all for Her fears and dark thoughts in which She feared would begin to take over Her life.

“What Are The Reasons? Do I Have Any Left? Did I Ever Have Reasons To Begin With? I Was Only 18 When I Gave My Heart To That Man. I’ve Been Here For Years And I’ve Watched The Hours Pass, The Moon Change And The Seasons Shifting. Where Has He Gone To? While I’ve Been Swept Out To Sea. Where Has He Walked Off To? Will I Ever See His Face Again? 28 I Am Now, Is There Any Hope For Me Now?” No. At least She hopes. “Turn Back Time For Me God! What Have I Ever Done That In Your Eyes I Must Be Tortured!? Why Do You Punish Me!?”

“Ah Baby Haven’t You Found Anyone Other Than Me? Don’t You Think You Deserve Better, My Goddess?” He asked His mistress before He had proposed to Her, back on that day the day of the anniversary of there meeting. She replied “Your Like A God, Taking Control Of My Soul And Forcing My Mind Into Eternal Bliss. Your Like A Drug I’m Addicted To And If I Was To Ever Loose You I Would Die, I Want You Baby.” marriage was arranged for February 18th that faithful day they met. They got married they got an apartment in the city and they had 2 children a boy and a girl. The boy had his mothers sinful eyes and his fathers midnight black hair. While the girl had the fathers sinister filled eyes and her mothers raven black long treading hair. They lived a happy life, being together was all they needed. And they needed that.

The Girl was drowning in Her sorrows in an apartment in the same city He had settled down in. Living alone, feeling the pain of not having anyone around Her, not even Her family wanted to deal with Her morbid obsessions anymore. There was no one for Her to run to, no one to turn to, and She hated everything and everyone. She believed no one had the right to be happy if She, who had done nothing wrong, was distant to be alone for the rest of Her days on this Earth. “No More…” She muttered to Herself, no one could hear Her crying, Her words, Her desires. No one wanted to hear Her. No one, not even god wanted to entertain Her sorrows anymore.

10 years have past, He’s on Her mind as long as She lives He’ll always be that guy. To Her it was love to, Him it just a game He called the other night but He cant remember Her name. She’s falling apart after all the time She had been waiting just to hope He would take Her back. He’s happy living with His black haired red eyed beauty. She sits alone crying to the sound of His voice running through the phone straight into Her heart. He says He cant remember Her, He didn’t even no She existed. She felt the pain opening up Her heart, She grabbed the knife and carved out His name onto the white flesh in Her veins on Her heart, She drops the phone. His name so clearly printed into the blood She’s been holding in for so long. Finally letting it out. The gashes so deep She lay dead.

No one had found Her for over a month, no one worried, no one cared. The owner of the apartment building found Her in Her room bleeding out His name with a dagger in Her hand. The police had taken His name, found Him at his apartment, convicted Him of murder and was sentenced to prison for 12 years at the age of 33. His wife and children cried for their loss, the last thing they knew of the victim was the letter She had left behind.

“Everything Was Cold After You Left Me Darling, My Heart Sank And You Had So Willingly Let Me Go. I Been Suffering Through The Pain Of Being Alone For Long Enough… I May Have Died Alone But I Brought You Down With Me… Don’t You Ever Forget That Baby. Don’t You Ever Forget About Me.” He had found that note after He had gotten out of jail, He had found it in Her apartment when He had visited the lonely room She had been living in.

He spent His time in jail and in that time the Goddess of Darkness had found a new God to help Her take care of Her children, she moved away with him and rook the children along as well. She left, left him alone with no where to go for she had sold the apartment She the victim of her own hand watching down on Him now seeing how alone and torn apart He was from loosing his wife and children to another man. She watched over His pathetic body wasting away in a dark city ally and She smirked and under Her breath She spoke “Don’t You Wish You Weren’t So Alone Boy? Don’t You Wish You Had A Beautiful Girl? Don’t You Wish You Could Have Remembered My Name? Now You Know How I Felt When You Left Me To Drown All Alone, Left Me To Waste Away To Nothing. I Want To Be The One To Kill You…”

Walking the streets bent over in pain taking each day one step at a time. Walking farther and farther, receiving beatings from gangs who He had been passing, the gangs out on the streets who treated Him like trash, He has no where to go He lay trapped within His own fantasy world for reality was all too painful. He walk through the ice, snow and sleet covered streets. His stomach lashed open by a knife. His insides spewing out, His internal organs hanging out of His body. The man who had done that to Him had also took His hand and had began to touch the inside of His organs mixing His stomach acid with them burning Him till it hurt so bad living wasn’t worth it. Surviving was impossible. He fall to the ground covered in snow, feeling sick, the coldness piercing His open gashes, He muttered best He could the last words He wanted His precious Goddess of Darkness to hear.

As He bled and cried until He had run out of tears it was as if His body had run out f sorrow and self pity, sloth. He knew He was suffering but reminded Himself that His ex wife and children were living happily. Living life better now that they would have if He was with them. His last words to His Goddess echo in the wind as He lay dying in vain: “To Think You’d Be The One To Make Me Feel This Ecstasy Of Suffering.” She watched down on His dying body, His corpse, His soul, laughing hysterically at His losses, His suffering and as His soul had crashed down into the depths of Hell She stood before Him drowning in flames, smirking as She looked directly into His eyes pierced by darkness and He looked back directly into Hers pierced with pain and She said “Welcome To Hell Darling. Remember Me Now?”






User Comments: [1] [add]
Angel of Mysteries
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Fri Jan 29, 2010 @ 07:35pm
I know I'm a random person, but I subscribed to ur journal entries surprised
I LOVE THIS ONE OMG. It's so deeep! So sad...



I wrote your name in the sky,
but the wind blew it away.

I wrote your name in the sand,
but the waves washed it away.

I wrote your name in my heart,
& forever it will stay.


PM me for roleplay C;

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User Comments: [1] [add]
 
 
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