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Thoughtless Writing
This Journal is gonna have basicly my life and thoughts in it, if u want to know me, or MORE about me, then this journal will have stuff about me that only my friend here in NC would know and understand so ya read if u want.
Bleeding out
User Image My life is turning, killing, begging. I can't get out. The one I thought was the monster is now my savior, and the one I thought was my savior is the monster. Two evils in front of me, to sides of both to look upon. Will I ever be free? Will I ever escape the darkness lurking at home? Can I be set free from a never ending world of black and pain? One person keeping my head above the black waters around me, one person keeping my heart beating, keeping me breathing. Does he understand? Does he care? Or is it a lie to harm my already tortured heart? To lose the people no child should, will I lose him next? I love him, but does he love me? Beautiful blue eyes, will I see them full of hate? Gentle arms, will they turn on my and cause external pain? Sweet smile, will you frown upon me? to lose so much, can I take much more? He holds me close but does he wish to? Can I trust the one that keeps me alive? Or is it just another lie from another person? How can I survive without the beautiful god like happiness and love he gives me? I don't know how much more I can take of the pain, of the hurt, of the lies. Every turn, ever step, is taking me closer to a dark side I'd rather not face within my life. But closer, closer I get. I'm bleeding out a heart ache, Bleeding out my love. Pain, hate, filling my every cell. Killing, destroying. Can I live? The word that make my heart live have been spoken, the future he offers to me seems bright, but how long will it last? Will he change his mind? Will I loose purpose? Will I loose the will to survive? Will I die at his hand? How can I trust the one that feeds me life when he doesn't trust? Doesn't understand that I care. That I'm ready to give my life for his cause. He's taking my trust and turning into hate, changing me, hurting me. Pain. I'm bleeding out, Bleeding forever. Does he know? Will Chase ever stop? Will Chase trust me, believe in me? Or am I just a pawn in his game? I'm not sure I will survive long enough to find you, for the bleeding is killing me...





 
 
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