I hate that I said it. I shouldn’t have asked. That was stupid. I was stupid. It wasn’t my place. I totally ******** myself over; again. I blew it, I ******** up. and I am so ******** sorry. But I don’t regret. Every day is the same damn routine. Every day is the same old s**t, and now at least, something happened. It won’t end well for any of us. And we know it. But I like it better than the same s**t I do EVER ******** DAY. Now its out there. it’s in the playing field. I don’t think the question will ever be answered, but I wouldn’t know what to do with an answer if I got one. But I think it could spark something. Not what it was intended to spark, but something none the less. It will be awkward, and it probably won’t be fun, but I’m losing my mind here. In this world I trust a grand total of two people. One will never look at me the same again, and one is to busy to talk to me. So I guess I’m just sitting here by myself, losing whatever microscopic piece of my mind I have left. And sadly, the one person I need to talk to most, is the one that I can’t bring myself to face. I can’t feel fear, so I don’t know if I’m afraid. And I can’t feel love, so I don’t know if my question was in the right place or not. But I do know that the closest I have to feelings, are random impulses. And random impulses said go for it. So now I’m falling down the rabbit hole, and one of these days, I will never hit the bottom.
……I should screw up this badly every day.... You know, assuming it doesn’t kill me tonight….
I_am_drop Community Member 
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