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I haven't had one of these in awhile, but I'm going through a major depressive episode. I'm just so fed up with life right now, it's not even funny.

First off, I'm getting depressed that I'm having to work my a** off to support my wife and I. I really could use some time away from work, but I can't afford to take time off.

Then there's all the driving. Between work and the fact that my wife doesn't, I'm exhausted. Driving is just wearing me out. Try driving as much as I do. You'll start to feel it after awhile.

I love my wife dearly, but I can't take her being home all the time. She needs to find a new job ASAP. Not only can we use the money, but I could also use some alone time. I love her to death and can't imagine my life without her, but it feels like she's right beside me like a shadow. The only "alone" time I get now is when I'm at work, but I can't even enjoy that.

I am perpetually fatigued, and in turn it's depressing me. Sure, I can get a boost from Ritalin in a Can (a.k.a. Red Bull), but I'm starting to get to a point where I need to be constantly drinking one, because I can't seem to stay awake without one.

So, why don't I just go to sleep. I'd love to do that. I'd love to get 8 peaceful hours and wake up feeling like a million bucks. But...I can't. I'm cursed with an overactive brain. I can't take the ultra-realism in my dreams. I feel like I'm awake the whole time, only to wake up exhausted and dripping with sweat.

I would like to be able to depend on others. Again, can't let you do that, Fox. People have failed me, even on the simplest of tasks, more times than I can count. So, if I want something done right, I have to do it my ******** self.

Then, there's the shithole in which we live. I was expecting to be out of this dump 6 months ago. There's a nice home waiting for me up the road, but you'll need to refer to the previous paragraph. I'm tired of these shitdick developers and their ******** around. Hurry up and get the ******** s**t done so we can get the hell out of this piece of s**t.

Long story short...I've about given up on life in general. There are times I wish I really was a panda (other than a cute little pet name). At least in panda years, I'd be dead already and away from all of this bullshit.

I don't even give a ******** about bitching anymore.